Is it normal for supporters to s/h?

[Pucoso]

hi on occasion when my sufferer shuts me out and the anxiety gets too much I have found myself hurting myself by means of s/h.
Is this normal practice for supporters?

 

[Era]

I don’t think it’s normal for anyone. If your not seeing a therapist, maybe it’s time you start. I know it’s hard being a supporter and I’m glad your here looking for support yourself. I think it’s time to look after yourself. Sending hugs.

 

[Uzeh]

Yes and no.

It’s not “normal” for a relationship to drive your distress levels to the point where you’re self-harming as a coping strategy. Healthy relationships don’t result in that level of distress.

But SH is a very common way for people to deal with extreme levels of distress. One of my Ts reflected to me once: when you see that a person is self-harming, that SH is usually a pretty good visual indicator that the person is in extreme distress.

If you’ve reached this point, try and give yourself the compassion you would give anyone else in that much distress, and seek out some assistance if you can. Your suffering is as valid as anyone else’s, and you deserve the same compassion and support that anyone else would be entitled to.

 

[Nifize]

Nope. Self Harm in and of itself isn't normal. Common? Yes. Much like alcohol abuse & eating disorders are common. But neither normal, nor the expected consequence of being in a relationship (whether the person has PTSD or not). It's not like, oh! Of course you're binging and purging if you're dating someone with PTSD. Or, of course you're cutting yourself, abusing alcohol, etc. if you're dating someone with PTSD.

My question would really be is the SH something that's you ; ie how you respond to stress regardless of where it's coming from (like an eating disorder, or anything else that you'll be bringing into every relationship that you're a part of, regardless of how healthy/unhealthy the relationship is); or if it's something that has developed specifically in response to this relationship. There will always be a "you" (me) component in whatever your coping mechanism of choice is, but whether or not this is something that is just a part of your life and something you'll need to learn to manage, or whether this is where you go when under extreme duress? Would be really important to know.

 

[Abale]

Are you trying any other coping skills?

 

[Ukun]

Yes some times I self medicate with cannabis oil

 

[Ulaz]

When my sufferer would isolate I started to drink more and more.....It helped me calm my nerves. But I realized it was hurting me.....more then helping.

No person is worth hurting yourself over. Please go see a therapist or talk to someone you trust and love. I know its distressing, and can feel like your the one with the illness. But it will just create a bigger monster then there already is. There are much healthier ways of coping.
sending love

 

[Edek]

Yes some times I self medicate with cannabis oil

"Medication" isn't really a coping skill.

There are far too many coping skills and grounding skills to list them here.

I suggest doing a forum search for them.