Relationship Is She Gone Forever, Is There Any Hope Left?

[Always have Hope!]

I don't know what to feel anymore, its all numb now. I speck so highly of havin hope, but she has to have hope too. I know I have said everything in my heart, I dont know if it resister to her, she has a comeback that changes the perspective of the actual relationship. She sabotages the past relationship with unrealistic ideals. When I express I know what she is feeling she become very irate saying no one knows her thoughts, I know this, but I told her I cant do nothing but be ssupportive and caring. No matter how much I tell her im there for her, love her, even telling her I want to marry her, she says its a game, im playing and im part of the system. She is such a great woman, I just think lately she is in a different mind state, pushing away the good things in her life. She is deep in her isolation, I dont know what to do, I love this woman with all my heart. I know if I completely have no contact for to long of a time, I will lose her. But I know I have to give her space, she already changing numbers she said. I know she loves me, and cares, I know she had pass bad relationships but does that have to do with ours. We been apart for 6 weeks, and she told me she is in a new committed relations with her ex of years ago. I know there is some sort of troubles with arrangment due to her expression. I dont know if she jump into that to help her with our break up or she is trying to fix a long broken relations, I know this guy was unfaithful in the past. I know she has doults about him. She tells me she feels like she not good enough to be in a relationship, why I want someone like her. I know she wants left alone in a way but how can she ever truly be happy without companionship when I know she likes companionship.

What do I do, I feel im on my last leg to establish any type of common ground, any forward steps I feel would break this barrier between up. How do you soften ones boundaries she has up. If I truly have to let go, I be totally devastating, lost and deeply heartbroken. A life without her will be a lifetime of pain. All I hear and read is life goes on and time heals. i know myself, I'll never get over losing her. Im more in love with her each day.

I dont want to feel I was just a rebound guy myself, that I was the man who filled her life at that time. I have no sorrow of the experiences with her, I would do it again tomorrow if I could.
I know in my heart that im the right man for her, I dont think many would stick by someone with ptsd. What makes her belive he will when he wasnt there over all these years. I doult he has seen her worst episodes yet, he not around her much yet. She might say she's committed, but has he experience her illnesses enough to make a complete commitment himself. My heat tells me at the end she will get hurt and fall deeper in isolation and depression, and I can't do a damn thing about it.

I really didnt want to push her away I was dealing with losing her and so many emotional hyperactivity over her leaving me. Its a very sad time now, to have no control of the situation. I've ran out of options and there is not much more one can say after all has been said. I know losing her is the most hurtful event I have experience.

I know most will say walk away, let her go, if she loved you she be back. It be nice to believe that, have hope. But do I really have any hope left....I

 

[Aelwen]

Hi, Always Have Hope. I'm sorry you're going through this right now - I can see how hard all of this is on you. I'm also trying to come to terms with a break up with my own sufferer (although my situation is very different, as I actually want to relationship to end).

Your post left me a bit concerned. I'm really new here myself - I only joined a day or two ago, and maybe this is something that happens all the time,but It worries me. It sounds like you've let this girl become your whole world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me like she was the center of your focus and energy and now that she's gone, so is your "center". I did the same thing in my relationship - I was so focused on my girlfriend because she was hurting and I wanted to help her, that I started neglecting my own needs and my own identity. I sincerely hope that you consider trying to look after yourself for a while, whether you try and work things out with your former girlfriend or not.

To me, though, it sounds as though she ran back to her ex because she believes that she deserves the "lesser" relationship, although this is only speculation; I do not know your girlfriend, and can't put words into her mouth. You could try keeping contact with her if you believe it would make you happier, but ultimately it's her decision. Even if she really is returning to her former relationship for destructive reasons (which, again, may or may not be true), she has the right to make that decision. It's hard to hear, and harder to accept, but she is the one who chooses her own life path. You can present your case to her as best as you can, but at the end of the day, you're going to have to respect her decision, whatever it may be. Just make sure you're fighting with your best interests in mind.

 

[chatter]

Have you tried no contact for a few days? As hard as it is for you it might be what she needs .