Is There Someone You Can Just Relax With?

[Wyakin]

My friend has just popped up for lunch. I've been having a bad morning as there is a dog show and fete being held next door to my house. I have had to shut all the windows and doors to block out the noise of people. I am really struggling to keep calm or at least I was until my friend got here.

She only has half an hour for lunch today but at the beginning of it I couldn't sit still and by the end I was calmly laughing and joking with her. She didn't do anything specific, she was just here. Now she is gone I am in a better place to continue managing my anxiety until the show finishes this afternoon.

I only have one other person who calms me like my friend and that is my Dad. If I could carry one or the other of them round in my pocket all the time my life would be so much easier.

So it got me wondering if any one else has just one or two people who can make them feel better simply by being in the same room?

 

[Go Hungry]

Well not 1 or 2.. I have alot of friends who I can be comfortable around.. I'm really lucky that way. But I can barely leave the house if one of them isn't around, so...

 

[silkleaves]

My sister... even though I barely get to see her because she lives clear on the other side of the country, whenever we talk, it's almost like my battery gets recharged. And we don't talk about anything heavy really, she updates me on her job, how the kids and her hubby are doing, every so often randomly yelling "stop barking you stupid dog!" then going on to talk about how much she loves her pups and all the cutest things they've been doing lately that keep her from killing them LoL

She has literally been my rock since day one...and since always, just hearing her voice makes me feel like everything is right in the world. She's also the only person who has heard or seen me cry, and can pull me out of a complete meltdown in a snap. We really only talk every 3 or 4 months, but when I do call, she picks up right away...if she's not home, my brother in law is also amazing to talk to. He has called my sister at work and told her I need her and she will call me up right away. I really really wish we lived closer, and I miss living with them.

I do have a local friend who is a godsent though... It doesn't matter of months have gone by, she is happy to talk to me and is the only person who knows just what to say to get me out of the house to spend time together. Actually...besides my sister, shes the only person who can call me repeatedly trying to get ahold of me, and I don't get mad at her for it, even though I still don't answer the phone. I'm not mad at her for trying to call me, as I do with anyone else who calls me.

So yeah, I would say at the top of my list, those two people.

Kiddo doesn't count, only because she's on the level of, I have no idea what I would do without her. Well, I've got to figure that out pretty quick, because soon here I'm going to find out. She will always be there for me, but it's going to be a shock to the system when she moves out and into the world and goes on to live her own life. But it goes without saying that she is someone who I can be myself with and she loves and supports me unconditionally.

 

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. I look relaxed mostly... but not really. I am very self contained.

 

[pamcoco]

No one. I too am good at pretending, although not as good at it as I was before ptsd. I long to long for company, to have fun and let go. I feel anxious, unsafe and judged. There is a lot of reality to these perceptions.

 

[Wyakin]

@Go Hungry I am glad you have lots of friends you can relax with although it is a shame you cannot leave the house without one of them. At least you have lots of support.

@silkleaves It is a shame your sister is so far away but I am pleased she is there for you even so. I have friends like your local one who I can just see occasionally but behave like we haven't been apart :)

@The Albatross I look relaxed to those around me but with these two special people I actually am relaxed. It is a shame you do not have any one.

@pamcoco There will be someone out there that you can trust. I had always been friends with my friend if that makes sense but just recently we have become a lot closer, almost inseparable. I hope you find someone you can trust.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have a few friends and my family I live with that I can be relaxed about. I consider myself very fortunate. It was not always this way. For a very long time, I did not have much contact with anyone, but now I am doing better at reaching out to them. That has really helped me so much.

I am doing so much better than I was four years ago, so take heart and take courage in reaching out to your safe others. It is a beginning of better days ahead for you. My heart goes out to you.

I still have moments when I feel lonely and that signals me to reach out for companionship.

I wish you the best.