Is This A PTSD Thing?

[Healing Survivor]

Or is this just me?

What's going on is that I feel like I have no opinion on anything. I feel one way at one time and then I feel the opposite later on. And if I think about things for too long, I don't know how I feel.

Can anyone identify with this? It's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do about it.

Thanks!

 

[Dylan]

Hi HS,

I don't know if it's a PTSD thing, but I'd be willing to bet it's a CPTSD thing. I was reading this weekend (Trauma & Recovery by Judith Herman), "People with PTSD often feel like they're losing their minds, while CPTSD people feel like they've lost themselves".

It's much better for me now, but I remember when I was younger, dreading people asking my opinion on anything because I'd have to make something up. I had no idea how I felt or what I thought about anything - what I liked or didn't like. Nearly a complete tabla rasa. :rolleyes:

Again, from the book, she says that CPTSD people often have a fragmented identity, and for myself, that's how I relate the lack of knowing myself/my opinions/thoughts, etc.

HTH...you're definitely not the only one.

-Dylan

 

[reallydown]

Hi,

Not sure if it's a PTSD thing though I suspect PTSD exacerbates it.

 

[TLight]

I can truly relate to what Dylan is saying. I've often felt like for a long time I 'took on' the identies of the people I hung around with most. I had no idea who I was or how I felt.
I have CPTSD from childhood abuse.

I'm 44 now and been in treatment for nearly 5 years. I know myself better, what I want, what I enjoy doing, what I want my life to feel/look like. I don't care much for even thinking about worldly things like politics, etc........so I pass on that stuff.........I have enough conflict in my brain to last for centuries.....why add to it?

But, I am now just discovering at 44 what feels good to do.....what I like, what gives me some pleasure.
I never, ever knew before.........I was just a giant ball of pain trying to survive this horrible thing called life.

 

[kers]

It's taken me ages to be able to know what I think and feel on any issue (still can't do it all the time). I think I was afraid to 'take a side' on anything, because what if it was 'wrong' and someone got angry with me?