Relationship Is This Encouraging Behavior?

[alise06]

We have been apart for about a month now. We spoke hardly at all for most of that time. Now he seems to be opening up again, responding more personally, being more chatty, making eye contact with me, joking around with me.. Etc. I see glimpses of the person I knew before he pushed me so far away again. Is this encouraging? Is he coming out of isolation finally?

The other times he had done this, our reconciliation had begun in a similar way. I guess I'm looking for success stories from others in dealing with this.

P.S. - leaving him is not an option, just throwing that out there. I know that he loves me, I know that he wants the help he is receiving. I just want to know that there can be a long term positive outcome in a relationship such as ours....

 

[arfie]

It fits the way I feel the cycle between my husband and I. We've been riding the cycle for 34 years and are really kinda proud of how much we have grown, individually, as lovers and as family. I sometimes visualize our bond as a long, flowing ribbon of tremendous strength. When we stand too close to one another, the ribbon bunches up and tangles into painful knots. Trying to untangle those knots results in what we call, "The Egg Shell Waltz." Putting a little distance between us allows the ribbon to flow gracefully once more.

So we think. My shrink wondered if we were skirting that fuzzy line between pride and denial.

Glad giving up is not an option. It's not about being perfect. It's about working it out.

 

[Nicolette]

I see glimpses of the person I knew before he pushed me so far away again.

While I hating busting your bubble, it is important to acknowledge he will never be who he was and while you see glimpses nothing will bring him back to what you remember. And before you jump on this as being harsh; you were not the person you once were now that you have to deal with his illness.

This ride is not for the faint hearted and while giving up may not be an option; I hope common sense prevails as a relationship takes more than love. I'm not saying that it won't work out nor am I taking away your hope but I will tell you that coming up to 7 years down the track - it never goes away and it always has the potential to destroy not only him but you also. I never knew my husband pre-PTSD and I think that is easier as I have nothing to compare him against for 'who he was' but I will say that at times over the years, I have not liked who he was. PTSD is a horrible illness and a lot of marriages don't sustain the damage it causes so remain optimistic and go for long term but please don't loose sight of reality and yourself along the way as many do.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's a cycle. Get ready for the ongoing rollercoaster ride.