Sufferer Is this ptsd???? medically retired law enforcement officer

[XFM811]

XFM811: Hello, this is my first time here and I am not having any luck navigating this site. I'd like to throw this message out to anyone who might have had experiences similar to mine. I was medically retired from my police dept in 2006 after 25 years. My lieutenant whom I hated and the feelings were mutual called me into his office in the middle of the day in May and told me I was done as of June 9th. I never saw it coming. I was in detectives at the time and was told I couldn't do my job any longer because of the six knee surgeries I had from being a cop with my pants on fire. About a week later after everyhting settled down I went into a deep depression for three straight years and have been dealing with it more often than not ever since. I was hospitalized once and stared down the barell of my gun on more than one occasion. I was no longer in my protective cocoon of the police dept. and my peers. All of the critical incidents I was involved in, three shootings and the more than common occurences of every kind of death one can imagine. The babies were the worst. All of this never bothered me that much at the time but once I was out of my safe zone all of the shit started haunting me. After years of therapy, three marriages, medication and jobs I'm still having the problems. Now there are the anger issues. I was fired from a job and probablly getting ready to loose the one I have now because of confrontations with management. I could go on and on. I dont know where to go now.

 

[ladee]

The suggestion would be to find a Trauma Therapist... and be accessed for PTSD... none of us here can tell you that you have it... as many symptoms cover many diagnosis....

But getting a diagnosis is a good begining... I know for me, it gave me a direction to go and helped me to know there was help and people like us here who understand....

Glad you found us... continue to post and we will support you, but would be a good thing for you to know what is going on and how to start dealing with the things that are really causing you pain and to not function in the world....

Welcome.

 

[XFM811]

Thanks Ladee

 

[Sideways]

Second @ladee ‘s suggestion of getting some qualified advice, and some therapeutic support. Ptsd could be in play, but unfortunately, it’s quite possible to be in a major depressive episode and have ptsd at the same time.

The good news is that both of those conditions are treatable. The way your life is now, the extent that you’re suffering? There is good treatment options availabile.

Welcome to the forum:)

 

[XFM811]

I have been talking to therapist but no help yet. I’ve been on so many different depression meds over the years and nothing seems to work. One of them, Wellbutrin sent me into an anxiety episode I walk out of work and began to uncontrollably cry.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums.

Have you gone to anyone qualified for diagnosis? Ask them

Also, do you know your groundings?

 

[ladee]

Yes, some meds are simply a crap shoot... and it can feel very defeating... if you feel you aren't making progress with this T (therapist), then possibly search out one that will better fit your needs... T's can be a crapshoot too.. not trying to discourage you... am sharing facts.... some are just not qualified to deal with the depth of your trauma... are there any Trauma T's in your area or close by.?.. Possibly too if you had a Psychiatrist that could assess you and be more qualified for what meds you need....

And you can also do a lot of reading about PTSD and different modalities and possibly find one that fits your needs and either ask the T you have now, or one in the future if they do this kind of therapy... the first step is getting a diagnosis... that opens doors for us...

And it is treatable, and we can learn to maintain.... this is not a death sentence.... it's work, but so is staying upset, angry and depressed...

Wish you well in finding the help you need and of course we are here in the meantime... and after... don't be a stranger.... sometimes it takes more than 6 months just to trust the person trying to help us... so don't expect things to get fixed fast... it's not how it works... took years for us to get here, takes years for us to untangle it...

 

[XFM811]

Welcome to the forums.

Have you gone to anyone qualified for diagnosis? Ask them

Also, do you know yo...

I’m not sure I know what groundings are. My insurance, Kaiser, has limited resources for this type of problem.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I have been talking to therapist but no help yet. I’ve been on so many different depression meds over...

Same... with Wellbutrin and me. Finding the right meds is so challenging!

And welcome.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Groundings are sorta techniques for dealing with stuff like panic attacks, triggers. Basically, the most useful thing for anything intrusive.

Gripping your thumb, butterfly hug, stuff like that, calms and lets you return to reality

 

[XFM811]

Yes, some meds are simply a crap shoot... and it can feel very defeating... if you feel you aren't making...

Your right, it has been a very long road. Sometimes I get to the point where I’m too afraid to live and too afraid to die.

 

[chris Ann]

XFM811: Hello, this is my first time here and I am not having any luck navigating this site. I'd like to...

I am a female with PTSD. I was in the Navy, suffered from sexual trauma. I really understand some of your struggles. If you a veteran, there are getting better with their treatments. If you are not a veteran, you can still go to VA website are learn a lot. It scares me when a man is depressed, because they are four times more likely to commit suicide. Society puts to much pressure on men, they are less likely to get the support they need. I have dealt with the stigma of PTSD, from my own family. I hope you feel better soon.