Sufferer Is this ptsd???? medically retired law enforcement officer

[Deleted member 8714]

I was skeptical about trying Yoga for grounding. I've only done it once and found it perfect for me. My T suggested I do it three times a week for now. I felt connected to the earth while doing it something I've had a hard time with a long time.

 

[Gs172003]

I’m not sure I know what groundings are. My insurance, Kaiser, has limited resources for this type of...

It's basically a way to calm down and get back to reality. For me I like strong tastes a d certain smells. If that doesn't work being cold does. It's not that simple but those are examples.

 

[Friday]

Is it PTSD? Maybe.

Maybes are always worth chasing down, right?

 

[XFM811]

Thanks Chris, I come from a Navy family. When I decided to go into police work at 20yo they were not happy. I spent 32yrs as a cop and ever since I was medically retired there has been little inner peace. I choose not to harm myself because I can’t do that to my sons. I’m very sorry for your trauma. No person should ever have to go through that. All I have ever dealt with is the worst in people and the pain that it causes others. I’m finding myself pacing again, which is what I do when the anxiety is at its peak. I’m starting to blame myself for a fellow officer getting shot back in the 80’s. I just started thinking about this, why I have no idea and analyzing the entire incident in my head. I look for answers as to what I could have done to have prevented it. It was friendly fire, not me, and thank God he was just wounded. The Dr keeps putting me on more pills and I hate it. I’m seeing my therapist in a couple days, but I don’t if if it’s working.

 

[Freida]

Hi there

Dispatcher here...... PTSD from Critical incidents is FINALLY being recognized as a thing for first responders. Doesn't mean that is what you have, just something to ask your counselor about. Have you asked for a PTSD assessment? That will give you a better answer so you and your counselor can set up a treatment plan.

If you click on the forums tab and go about 3/4 the way down there is a military/responders tab that is mostly us - but don't think you have to stay there! This site is huge so you will find answers all through it.

My PTSD is military based, but I've been amazed how many bad calls have come up as I've gone through counseling. And they didn't really become a problem until after I got out of dispatch so I'm not surprised that they are just now bothering you.

I’m seeing my therapist in a couple days, but I don’t if if it’s working.

Are you being honest? As in not minimizing your situation? Not that any of us have ever done that......:)

While you are sorting this out keep this handy..

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It's a crisis line just for us. Aint we special.......

 

[XFM811]

I'm not sure what you mean by "As in not minimizing your situation". Two officers have been kileed in the metro area in the last month. The first one started bringing up the second guessing myself in the friendly fire shooting. I was watching everyhting on the news. I didn't even follow the second. Do you think that the first death brought this stuff back? I wish I knew. I dont know, this might not be PTSD at all. I was talking to a police psychologist from Arizona and she told me that it's not PTSD, it's PTSI. She said it's an injury not a disorder. I've been seeing therapists off and on for years who I felt just liked listening to themselves talk. I guess my question is, why did I hit rock bottom when I was forced out of police work. Why didn't this stuff hit me as hard when I was working? I don't know if anyone agrees with me, but I don't think that anyone understands depression unless you've been there.

 

[Justmehere]

I guess my question is, why did I hit rock bottom when I was forced out of police work. Why didn't this stuff hit me as hard when I was working?

When you were working, those fight or flight symptoms helped you survive. It's really common that once the threat of any possible danger is over, THAT's when the symptoms hit the hardest. Happens all the time. My therapist says it's because the person is finally safe enough to feel.

 

[Abstract]

It's really common ... My therapist says it's because the person is finally safe enough to feel.

Yes. It seems to me two scenarios often set things off. Feeling safer or experiencing a stressor that either relates to the trauma in some way or undermines who we feel we are. It may be the latter or it may be being safer. Or a combination of both. I definitely had a couple of things that occurred that shook the skeletons out of the closet of my brain. Let us know what happens in the assessment if you can get yourself to go.

 

[Freida]

she told me that it's not PTSD, it's PTSI.

Technically its PTSD but the powers that be are trying to change it to PTSI because technically it's an injury to your brain rather than a chemical breakdown like in a mental illness.

I'm not sure what you mean by "As in not minimizing your situation". T

Really common in ptsd to do the "oh it wasn't that bad" route. That can make it harder for the therapist to work with you because they don't get the full picture. its one of those maladaptive coping techniques you learn along the way.
I'm the queen of those!

Why didn't this stuff hit me as hard when I was working?

Because you were distracted. That also is really common PTSD. Some people use drugs some alcohol, some are workaholics - but the goal is to keep the bad at bay. You are so in the moment that it doesn't hit you until days, weeks, decades later. It's also really common in vets.

I think the label is less important than the treatment techniques because a lot of them overlap. Many of the things I use to combat ptsd are also used to combat depression. But I think once you get a final diagnosis it gets you started on a more specific healing path