Is Work Giving Me Small Triggers And Making Symptoms Worse?

[SeaFoam]

I never thought about it before, is it possible that work is actually making things worse for me?

I was in a bad accident, shouldn't have survived and still have the nightmares, disassociation, anger, pain, etc.

Well, I had been on active duty at the base here, then decided to go back to school and get my paramedic specialist (I was a firemedic before the accident). Long story short after I graduated I took a job in an ER here, I have been working 60 hour weeks (we don't get to sleep since we are in the ER) and I see a LOT of patients. I haven't been able to work out (usually an hour/hour and a half a day) since I started and my support structure (talking to family, close friends) has been reduced severely.

People dying or being horribly injured has never bothered me - in fact it makes me feel more alive, but I am wondering if all the overtime and lack of support is doing it.

I actually snapped on my boss the other night and yelled at her for a whole bunch of random stuff after she told me I took 15 minutes too long of a break.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I am hoping you will get some response from the other medical people who are here. Personally, as someone who worked in the ER and all of the ICUs in 3 different hospitals, I can tell you that the job does take a toll on you. The stress alone from the profession can do you in, add into the equation the things you see on a daily basis and it is no wonder you are a mess. You are overloaded. I know, because I am overloaded for a different reason right now, but am doing the very same thing. My fuse is so short right now I snap at the air. You can barely speak to me without me going off------STRESS MY FRIEND, STRESS ! !

You are in deseparate need of some down time. Rest would not hurt either. Hang in there, you just might be right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SeaFoam]

I had been doing it for 6 years before the accident and a year before I went to the base full time. That was all on the ambulance though, this working in the ER thing is a lot different to me. I don't feel like there is any rest, my patients are a lot more stable compared to what I get on the ambulance but there is SO many more and I have to deal with multiple patients all the time.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Exactly, the ER is not only a hard place to work, but it is extremely different than any other position in the hospital. On the ambulnce you picked em up, stabilized them and turned them over. No follow up with testing and certainly no constant exposure to the family, etc. The ER is a lot more demanding of your time, your energy and to be quite honest-----your emotions---no matter what anyone else says.

 

[onebravegirl]

PTSD can become VERY insistant of being your main priority. Your job is very demanding and dependant on an ablitiy to put aside your emotions and think clearly. Kinda the oposite of what PTSD requires. The injuries that PTSD is recalling will continue to insist on being attended too. The longer you do not co-operate with it, the longer to process of healling. Kinda like if you try and ignore a trigger, it will come back harder the next time.
Please make YOUR needs your priority over other people. You sound like an amazing, kind and caring person. Don't feel selfish for having to put yourself first. On the otherside of PTSD you can come out a whole heck of a lot stronger, wiser and more caring.
Aside from PTSD, your job is a very stressful one. Healthy people get freeked out in Emerg rooms. everyone looses their cool at some point. Give yourself room to be human!
O

 

[SeaFoam]

I have no problems putting my emotions aside in an actual emergency that takes all of my concentration, it is the time between and time with patients that aren't critical that allow my mind to wander :(

 

[anthony]

Simple answer from what you asked and then described. Yes.

 

[SeaFoam]

I don't know what to do, I was pulled into my manager's office and put on probation because of three totally false reports filed against me by two nurses. It sent me overboard, I already had trust problems and now I can't even trust the people I work with. I have been so upset today and this shit is so ****ing hard on me and my girlfriend. I HATE that job so much but I am stuck in it - I don't know how to separate it from my every day life. It is RUINING my life, I despise going there and get anxiety just thinking about it. I made an appointment to talk to a psychiatrist since lately my symptoms have been coming back but that's not until the 18th (WTF?).

I thought everything was starting to get better, my pain had gone away but then I slipped in the parking lot and my pain is back, then the next day I get slammed with that shit.

I am so frustrated and crying all day I feel so trapped.

 

[Tessa]

Hi SeaFoam,

Do you have an employee assistance service who could help you?

Often health workers are terrible at supporting each other. Perhaps the manager is giving you "payback" for losing it with her?

I understand the anger frustration and pain. Being tired just makes it all seem worse.

Take care
Tessa

 

[anni]

Hi SeaFoam,

I hope this isn't unhelpfull because i'm not a medical professional like you, so hope it's not frustratiing. I just keep bumping into an awful lot of information about PTSD and medical people, and they do sound like what you're up against in a lot of ways. I keep seeing you folks here, also, and the stories seem connected, you know?

It's just that your original question seemed to be whether or not your work could be triggering you, and in reading your posts you just sound so triggered and sad and wishing not to be like that. It's helpful to me to know I'm not alone with this dreck, for some reason so thought I'd reply. I'm pretty sure there is something on the home page pertaining to your fields, and I know I've seen various threads through the past months by members who are emergency workers, etc. . I know everyone is different, but no doubt others in your profession share your pain and triggers and reading thier journies might be somewhat comforting.

I do hope you have some peace with this. Please do take care.

Anni