It's A New Day, Throw The Dice.

[Zipperhead]

Through all this I have gone to the therapists, I have taken the drugs, I have tried to modify my self-distructive behaviours. I have been honest with myself, and even celibrated the small victories. Today was not a victory. Confrontation. Anger, self-righteousness, indignation. I lashed out as only a Combat Vet could, teeth beared for all to see. I didn't even try to calm down until I had backed myself into a corner. Society now has the option as backing off or finishing me. f*ck it.

 

[Ned]

What you done, then?

 

[tnkg1rl]

I had to go in too today and it wasn't very pretty. Feeling a littl defeated right now but still wicked pissed, at least I can go vent to my therapist, so he can tell me to suck it up. Hang in there Zipper!

 

[Zipperhead]

Why do we let the beast win? What perverse satisfaction do we gain by letting loose? We always regret it afterwards, and yet, at the time, we charge forward like a herd of eliphants. Even with all the drugs, I can't trust myself in public. I've been burning bridges so long now that finding alternate routes is becoming a challenge.

 

[JarHed]

Why do we let the beast win?

We don't Zip, he's always there just waiting for that moment to pounce. Hang in the Bro.

 

[Sarg]

Zip, don't give up man.

Sarg

 

[JennyMac]

Sometimes some people just need to be told to f*ck off, and sometimes when we say what needs to be said it scares the shit out of us....at least that is what my counselor said the last time I went in overdrive and told some poor woman off....

Throwing a shitball at someone doesn't make you bad but it can surprise the hell out of both the one giving and the one receiving.

It's gonna be ok Zip. One day at a time.

 

[Ned]

Jen beat me to it mate. There may well be people on the side-lines thinking 'wish I'd said that'.
People are so used to plastered-on smiles now, that they get all chi-chi when they take a dose of justified anger.
As my RSM used to say - 'Nobody died or went to jail'.

P.S. We all beat ourselves up for breaking our own strict rules. Which we do when we see other people breaking rules. Catch 22.

 

[Wagon]

Well, I threatened to beat my room mates head in with an empty olive oil bottle last week. Funny, I'm not sorry about the action. I'm sorry I lost my cool. Kind of screws up the brain for awhile. Also had a friend tell me that I was a bit aggressive. I controlled the urge to tell him "f*ck you, I'm not aggressive!!!" Gotta laugh at that.

To quote Ned's quote 'Nobody died or went to jail'. That's one positive anyway.

Stop...rewind..start over..again. Ain't the beast fun.

 

[Zipperhead]

Is it possible that missing my meds for 1 night could put me back a year mentally? I'm not sayin I missed my meds, I don't know. But it was a rough day yesterday. Got the pipes out last night and blew the shit out of them for 2 hours. It helped.

 

[Ned]

Probably just a rough day. It's allowed.

 

[Anglesachse]

Bad days pop up once in a while Zip cocker. Just noticing it was a bad one is a step in the right direction.

Hang tough Brother. You`ll be all right.