It's Father's Day This Weekend: I'd Like To Give Him A New Home, In Prison.

[Flyaway]

Ok, so I'm starting to get really upset because Father's Day is in a couple of days and thoughts of him bring up feelings of pure terror, disgust, repulsion, unbearable hurt. He is the definition of evil.

For the last few years, instead of avoiding fooker day I have bought myself a card and present and celebrated what an awesome father I've been to myself. It still hurts like hell.

Does anyone else have ideas on how to make it bearable?

 

[Loloma]

Might sound weird, forget it's fathers day. Go out and spoil yourself and think of you alone.

 

[Flyaway]

Hard to forget seeing as the rest of the country is celebrating... But the spoiling part sounds good.

 

[Loloma]

Do understand Flyaway, my father was a b*****d to.

 

[GrahamCracker]

We had Father's Day earlier in the year here in the US but I totally understand the bad feelings.

My father was abusive towards me and my mother and then left when I was young and didn't have any contact with me for a very long time. Much less terrible than what I am gathering must have happened to you but I get the same way around this holiday.

 

[Flyaway]

Thanks GrahamCracker... Do you do anything to make it easier?

 

[GrahamCracker]

Well, I usually just avoid social media and other media and stay in, if possible. If you have to go to work or school, it makes it a little more difficult. I usually stay away from people on Father's Day as much as I can since it's a prominent topic of conversation on those days.

Wish I had a better answer for you!

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I had this issue on mothers' day as well as father's day. I learned to ignore it, despite the posters hanging everywhere (buy your mom & dad this and that, bla, bla). Those posters are intended to let the money roll, and for the good moms and dads out there, but not for the bad ones. Try to focus your attention on things you really like, do something that distracts you? A hobby maybe? Respect to you for being a good dad to yourself!

 

[Philippa]

I saw a chalkboard for father's day today at the local shops and it made me cringe. I hate fathers and mothers day with a passion. Best you can do is just your best to ignore it and focus on doing things for yourself that will honor how far you've come, and like you say give yourself a gift for being such a good provider to you. Think I will take my own advice here, as I was wondering how to get through it as well.

I would stay inside and not go out in public until it is the next day. Avoid social media, as someone else said. I hadn't seen or heard anything about it being fathers day until today, and that's because it's the first day I've surfaced from my mourning and gone somewhere in public. If you're at home and not out there, you can remain happily oblivious.

 

[EverOnly358]

When is father's day there? (I'm in the U.S.)

Don't give up any more of your happiness to your stupid, horrible father. He's not worth it. Avoid TV as much as possible (all those commercial with the perfect little families), stick with stuff like DVD's and Netflix if you need to have the TV on. Don't plan anything complicated for that day, but just do things you really like that are low stress. For me that would be going to a movie and eating popcorn, or shopping or even just being locked in my room in the dark with movies or a book. Anything distracting, and just get through the day with as little anticipation and fuss as possible. I hate holidays, I struggle with them all. When I read this post, though, I realized I don't ever think of my parents on mother's day or father's day. They weren't good parents. I think about doing nice things for my husband, because he is a really good father or I spend it hoping my family does something nice for me, since even though I'm so incredibly far from perfect and I screw up so much, I try really hard everyday to be a good mother.

I know everything I said is much easier said than done. I'm so sorry you had to grow up with such a horrible person! You, too, Loloma. It's not our fault, though, right? You don't get to choose your parents.