It's Grim Up North

[Grim]

Hello,

I'm 45, living in the UK and have CPTSD primarily from being abused by a family member when I was a child and then bullied through school with dyslexia. I even got strangled to the point of blackout by my English teacher!

At age 17, I moved to another city to hide myself away. I'd planned this move from an early age. Sadly, I ended up living in a charity hostel for the less fortunate, where I experienced the worst that life could offer; abuse, violence, threats, loneliness, dissociation, money problems and lone sharks.

Anyhow, six months ago I started seeing a councillor to help me with my childhood problems but unfortunately the process became too much for me and I had to stop going. I felt I was just stirred up all sorts of memories and problems - it also wasn't helped that the councillors room didn't seem very private. At times I could hear all the comings and going and at times people talking outside the door.

I was also made redundant eight months ago, treated appallingly during the redundancy process in fact I'm stilled owed wages even now. Years of anxiety have left me untrusting and lonely without friends. I currently live with elderly parents who I look after. They know nothing of the abuse I suffered - and will never know. I've only told six people I was abused. Your number 7!

Since stopping, (probably dissociating), from the counselling process, I've tried to speak to my GP again, but he seems uninterested and has precribed pills - so I'm here - I've read the forums from cover to cover and thought I should join.

I suspect I will seldom post - but I wish you all the best on your personal journey.

G

Now the question is can I press the Create Thread button ....

 

[KP the nut]

Yay, I am so pleased you pressed the create thread button.

Welcome to the forum, that is probably one of the hardest posts you will write and you did great.

I've tried to speak to my GP again, but he seems uninterested and has precribed pills - so I'm here
I suspect I will seldom post - but I wish you all the best on your personal journey..

I'm also in England and IMHO go back to your GP, possibly see another if possible, you are entitled to good treatment. Ask to be referred to a therapist, you may strike lucky. I did with mine.

This forum is a great place for information and sharing experiences. We learn from another.

Post as and when you feel able, small baby steps.

KP

 

[Grim]

Thank you KP

I will go back to my GP soon - I just need some time first to recover a little first. Madness isn't it!

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi welcome to the forum

Therapy is a hard process and it does leave you feeling like crap, and wanting to stop. But you need to go through those memories and process them properly. Know that it won't always feel this bad and that therapy, however hard is worth it in the end.

Get your GP to refer you to someone. A CPN (community psychiatric nurse), might be a good starting point, or a psychiatrist or psychologist. There are also charitable organisations who offer counselling for a low fee or free.

Or you could try to work through some issues yourself - [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/ptsd-therapy-one-page-as-simple-as-it-gets.16010/[/DLMURL]

Good luck
CB

 

[Grim]

Get your GP to refer you to someone. A CPN (community psychiatric nurse), might be a good starting point, or a psychiatrist or psychologist.
CB

When I was 26 and living in a shared house, I was refereed to a community psychiatric nurse - who stupidly left a message 'concerning my mental health issues' on the houses communal answering machine! Needless to say I was put through the mill by my flat mates.

I doubt the psychiatric nurse will forget my voice from our only meeting. Its left me very untrusting.

However, thank you for your post. I'm going to look at the link.

 

[Lionheart]

Grim,

Not all nurses and psychologists are idiots like the ones you have encountered. I hope you address your abuse issues with a therapist, but however you go about it, I wish you only the best of luck. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Thanks,
LH

 

[aditi]

Hi Grim (it's a bit grim down South too at times, hehehe) and well done for posting. I don't have a ptsd diagnosis yet but I'm working on it. I've a new psychiatrist to see next week and I'm hoping he's going to see what's going on. They're a mixed bunch, I think, but I'm going to keep trying to show myself that I believe I'm worth it. I have a great therapist at least. Which ever way you do it, good luck!

 

[Grim]

Thanks LH & aditi,

I've made a new appointment at the doctors today in the hope of getting a referral rather than a prescription. Today has been really difficult - I'm so anxious I can't stop shaking. Hope it will pass soon.