It's happening again

[joeylittle]

Essentially, you made your position on trans people clear: you have some negative judgement/bias against them. So, you’re somewhat transphobic. And that has the potential to cause harm to her child, since her child is trans.

As others have pointed out, it’s not a lifestyle, it’s living one’s life. By saying this:

I truly have nothing against anyone who chooses the life style.

you are essentially calling her child a liar, and trivializing her child’s struggle.

I suspect it’s coming more from ignorance than ideology - but it doesn’t really matter, because they end result is the same.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Good for her for standing by her child! More parents need to learn from her! That is why we have closets for those that are gay/lesbian. The same closet for those thar are trans. Many parents react badly. She is supporting her son and that is awesome! More parents need to learn from that. And to be honest, if you had that convo with me I'd end the friendship too. Especially if you will be in contact with my son. If you cannot accept my child for the way they are then you and I shouldn't be friends. Period!

 

[Fadeaway]

Given the the challenges her DAUGHTER is going to face, she is setting a good example for her DAUGHTER but eliminating non supportive people from her life. I would imagine her trust is probably very shaken as well.

I hit reply too soon. Without expecting any response from your friend I would still apologize. Tell her you were wrong not to support her daughter and then really try and educate yourself at least on the current science on transgender.

 

[blackemerald1]

I'm not going to re state all of the previous response's.
I'd hope you would be able to be a good friend to her. Apologise for your 'opinion' given when she shared with you what is going on with her child.

Sometimes it's good for a friend to challenge something bc it can help them grow/accept/change destructive situations.

I'm betting you know now this wasn't one of those moments.

So, if you have got her & her daughters best interests at heart. Be brave, go back to her & tell her you are sorry for not being a better friend.

Don't hope for immediate recovery or anything for yourself. Just say you are sorry & learn from this if nothing else.

Btw we have all done dumb stuff & suffered the consequences.

 

[Gs172003]

I had a good friend who I did everything with. The two of us considered ourselves sisters and we shared...

As a mom I would be just as upset. This might sound harsh but...It's none of your business. It's not your child not your family not your life. You had no right to say a word. You don't have to like it but it gives you no right to say it. I don't blame her for being angry.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @Enaila... No offence but it's really none of your business what the son chooses to do. I think it must be one of the hardest, difficult, decisions, realization that you are in the wrong body.. And I have nothing but compassion and admiration for the strength these people have...

If you can't think about that.. The pain and struggle this kid is in then keep your mouth shut. I'm sorry I sound brutal... But your compassion and empathy is probably what your friend needed not what you chose to do.

If you can change that... Or maybe be even watch some videos on you tube and listen to there stories... Then maybe your friend will take you back.
In many ways alot of these people are disowned by there families forever or called sick or disgusting... Your friend is standing by her kid.. That's amazing...

 

[Freida]

I had encouraged her to get her son some counseling, not because he is choosing to be trans, but because he is struggling in many ways. I truly have nothing against anyone who chooses the life style. I do think he needs emotional support for whatever he chooses. I also felt a need to be protective of him as he attends school in an area which is not safe to walk to normally and definitely not in a dress. The school he is at is accepting of his choice as are his peers, but the neighboring school and gangs are not

I think this message got lost once you showed her the video. I agree that apologizing to her is a good idea -- hopefully she has had some time to calm down and will let you try to fix it. Both of them are going to need support through this - hopefully she will allow you to show her that you weren't trying to be insulting but were coming from a place of concern about the struggles they are going to be facing in this process