Relationship I've Been Here Before...the Push And Pull...

[Keepingthefaith5]

My vet. Going through another rough spot. He tells me he loves. That he's dead inside. That he doesn't want to drag me to this place he is going. That he wants me in his life. Next minute, that he wants to fight for us. That he can't picture is life without me. Then, that he doesn't want to be in a relationship but doesn't want to date someone anyone else. That he is f*cked in the head.

He just started a new job and is balancing school as well. I know he is stressed.
I just don't know. Do I continue fighting for us? Do I give in and say yes, be free? Advice.

 

[WildMermaid]

PTSD is like that oftentimes. Regardless of the cause of PTSD we have similarities in how we handle life and relationships. My husband of 16 years might say that i am the most Mercurial thing in his life, yet he also would say that he knows he's loved and respected every single day. He honors me in the same way.

For you personally what does he need to do prove devotion? What can you do to show him the same? Have you considered couples counseling? I wish you both the best in each other and in life!

 

[Keepingthefaith5]

Thank you for your response! Life just got in the way. With both of us having a new job in the past month and a new puppy, we were spending time with each other, but it was going through the motions. We are in a rut. I voiced how I felt and he did the same. Now, he questions everything and his ptsd really flared in the past weeks. He was mean and irritable even friends noticed. We were steady or so I thought. We've been together for over 2 years, survived a deployment, are each other's best friends, but I'm trying to explain to him that sometimes in a LTR, daily life does become mundane at times, especially with diff work schedules. I just don't know anymore. His thoughts are so conflicting, I feel like he doesn't even know what he is saying or doing. I have mentioned couples counseling, but he's never followed thru with it. He won't even go to therapy for his combat ptsd, just seeing a psychiatrist for pain management.

 

[Sighs]

Untreated PTSD is a hell of a roller coaster. Only you can decide when / if you want to get off the ride.

Hugs if you accept them.

 

[WildMermaid]

Untreated PTSD is a hell of a roller coaster. Only you can decide when / if you want to get off the ride.

Hugs if you accept them.

*big :hug:s* right back

 

[Keepingthefaith5]

Thank you ladies! I was hopefully, but yet naive that my prsd relationship would end differently. He can't live without me, but doesnt want a relationship? But when I break up with him he won't take it? Oh lord. This time I'm at peace if I do end up walking away. Happy Friday. Hugs back!xo

 

[Becksknox]

@Keepingthefaith5 I can't offer much advice as I am going thru the same situation, but I can empathize with you. I've been thru this before and this time I believe it is time to walk away for my own sanity. I've lost myself this time around and I have to. Sometimes you hit a wall, or rock bottom and you can't do anything but walk away.
My guy has always come back, but at this point I can't rely on that.