I've Ran So Many Times

[Twialine]

I have ran from the man I love so many times in the year we've known each other that I have lost count. Last time I ran away (on my b-day) we got into an argument because I ignored him all day and told him I'd fallen asleep and he found out I wasn't asleep at all. Right now we are trying to work on things by starting out as best friends and although I understand that he wants to wait til his therapy is over and I have more control over my running but that don't mean I like it. I'm so scared of having a long relationship but at the same time he's the man I wanna spend the rest of my life with. Can anyone give me advice? Because although I mentched it to my psychiatrist he didn't say anything about it at all.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Can they give you some kind of attachment disorders therapy?

 

[Twialine]

Can they give you some kind of attachment disorders therapy?

I have no clue but I do know my family and I can't afford any more therapy.

 

[Stitchin]

:(
I'm sorry you're struggling with this - I'm a little confused though, you said he is in therapy? Can you perhaps do a few sessions with him?
Have you ever been in a long term relationship before?

 

[Twialine]

:(
I'm sorry you're struggling with this - I'm a little confused though, you said he is in therapy? Ca...

I don't think he wants me in there with him just yet. My ex fiance and I were together for 3 years

 

[Stitchin]

Well I understand the running thing, that's my go to coping mechanism also.
I deal with it one day at a time, every day I tell myself not to expect anything, just take it for today, and let tomorrow take care of itself... when I try to consider the future I get all freaked out and start planning a run - and when I run I don't just stop answering the phone. I move away!
So perhaps try each morning to find a small thing to be grateful for - and take things slowly, one day at a time?
BIG LOVE

 

[Desiree Gardner]

Any advice for someone on the other side of things? My ex bf (we've been broken up for almost a month) is doing just that. Our relationship was amazing, then out of the blue he breaks up with me because he is "scared of getting close to someone like I am to you".. I'm trying to give him his space, but also sending a text to let him know that I am here for him. Not sure what else to do. This is so hard because he is pushing me away.

 

[Twialine]

Any advice for someone on the other side of things? My ex bf (we've been broken up for almost a...

I find that what you're doing helped me we've known each other for a year now and now been simply dating not anything official for almost a month. I've been talking to my mom, and the man I love more about the abuse I went through and he holds me as I cry bout it. It has to come out as my mom says "weeds have to be pulled so the flower of relationship can bloom"

 

[Desiree Gardner]

:)

 

[The Albatross]

What would it take for you to quit running away and change your behavior? And what would that look like?