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- Post starter CraftyCath
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- #39
CraftyCath
VIP Member
I have now almost done my second week.
The induction went well but the shop had no lighting and the internal fixtures and fittings were still being done. We were made to fit shelves and put out stock wearing hard hats (too big), high visibility jackets ( also too big) and safety shoes (also too big). I started at 9:30 am and they made us work until 6pm with an half hour lunch. I then did 2 days 8am until 6pm and then they wanted me to do another 8am - 6pm but my son had an appointment at 12:30 so I had to leave at 12:00.
I was not told we would be shop building in dirty conditions and trying to put out stock. I was only supposed to do 16 hours and foolish me fell into the trap of doing more to show willing and please which I should not have done. :arghh;The shop opened Saturday but I was off the weekend at a Viking Medieval fair so I did not go back until Tuesday. I got through the day but I found the shifts too long and on Tuesday I worked 12pm until 9pm with only a half hour break at 2:20pm. I was exhausted! I went in yesterday for a 12pm until 9pm shift and found myself dreading it. The management were on everyone's back. I was told to man the tills which to me meant 'man the tills.' Well you would think so but no! there was music playing on a loop and the shop was quiet and I was nervous and somewhat bored so to stop myself from being nervous I was humming the tune and doing a little dance on the spot - not dancing about. A manager came past and said to me: 'Don't jig about on the shop floor or you will get told off by....' I said I was sorry and that I hadn't realised I was doing it and it was probably because I was a little bored. She through her arms apart and shouted 'do something then!'
I saw red! :mad: I was instantly triggered and felt like crying. I explained that I had been put on tills and she said that if it was quiet I should go to the sections in sight of the tills and tidy them up. She talked to me with such frustration in her voice and disgust on her face! So I went. It was a 5 minute job to tidy and I had to keep myself from dissociating and crying. I came round the corner of the isle and she was there and said to me 'so, no jigging and when it's quiet you tidy.' I said 'you have told me that already' and she said that it was so that the top manager didn't see me 'jigging' and doing nothing. 3 times she told me and on the third time I pulled the disability card. I said 'I have a mental health problem and need clear instructions and it takes me a long time to take things in.' Her whole attitude changed (probably because she knew about the disability in the workplace act). She then told me again that it was just to stop the other manager (her husband) from having a go.
I was so triggered I could hardly hold back the tears! My other manager, who is nice, asked me to go do some facing up and I told him I didn't think I'd last until the end of the week. I told him the hours were too long and I was tired but I couldn't say anymore because I was too upset and when he went away I was wiping tears away like mad. I kept trying to ground myself by holding a stone in my pocket that KP had given me and sniffing some essential oil. I was fighting negative thoughts but everything in me said 'this is just like nursing, I am back on the ward, you need to run and not stop until your heart bursts.'
The bosses went home and the whole atmosphere changed. I was offered a break but I refused and told my line manager later that had I gone for a break I would have got in my car and not come back. I was working with a 17 year old lad who had been told off for having one hand in his pocket! My line manager came across and we chatted about how we were feeling, she had cried the night before and when she said this I burst into tears and she hugged me. Nearly all the girls working there have cried so it isn't just me, both the laads have been shouted at. I said I wanted to leave but my line manager said that the management were actually very happy with my work! Well wouldn't it be nice if they actually told us that instead of just having a go at us?!
I think it has been the negativity that has affected me these last few weeks. My manager has lowered my hours and I have refused to do more. I sobbed when I came home and my H and Son were furious! My eldest Son told me to read the disability discrimination act and take no nonsense from them. My sister, who was a manager herself for a very big international company, was shocked and told me to leave if it got any worse! (Her husband owns and runs an international company too). My youngest Son, who has been through worse than this said if they didn't stop it he would go down and sort them out! It isn't worth my mental health.
Questions:
Why if they want the company to be a success do they treat people like this? Power trip?
Why do I have to keep pretending to tidy the same area over and over and pretend to be busy so it doesn't upset the boss? Surely if we are not busy it is obvious to everyone and we pull the stops out when we are busy? Why pretend? It makes me a sycophant and that is something I refuse to be - to lower my integrity for the sake of keeping him happy!
Why not give praise where praise is due and not just complaints and tellings off?
I am not a happy bunny! I want to leave and never go back. My youngest Son has been through something similar and suggests I arrange an intervention after talking to some other staff.
Rant over!
The induction went well but the shop had no lighting and the internal fixtures and fittings were still being done. We were made to fit shelves and put out stock wearing hard hats (too big), high visibility jackets ( also too big) and safety shoes (also too big). I started at 9:30 am and they made us work until 6pm with an half hour lunch. I then did 2 days 8am until 6pm and then they wanted me to do another 8am - 6pm but my son had an appointment at 12:30 so I had to leave at 12:00.
I was not told we would be shop building in dirty conditions and trying to put out stock. I was only supposed to do 16 hours and foolish me fell into the trap of doing more to show willing and please which I should not have done. :arghh;The shop opened Saturday but I was off the weekend at a Viking Medieval fair so I did not go back until Tuesday. I got through the day but I found the shifts too long and on Tuesday I worked 12pm until 9pm with only a half hour break at 2:20pm. I was exhausted! I went in yesterday for a 12pm until 9pm shift and found myself dreading it. The management were on everyone's back. I was told to man the tills which to me meant 'man the tills.' Well you would think so but no! there was music playing on a loop and the shop was quiet and I was nervous and somewhat bored so to stop myself from being nervous I was humming the tune and doing a little dance on the spot - not dancing about. A manager came past and said to me: 'Don't jig about on the shop floor or you will get told off by....' I said I was sorry and that I hadn't realised I was doing it and it was probably because I was a little bored. She through her arms apart and shouted 'do something then!'
I saw red! :mad: I was instantly triggered and felt like crying. I explained that I had been put on tills and she said that if it was quiet I should go to the sections in sight of the tills and tidy them up. She talked to me with such frustration in her voice and disgust on her face! So I went. It was a 5 minute job to tidy and I had to keep myself from dissociating and crying. I came round the corner of the isle and she was there and said to me 'so, no jigging and when it's quiet you tidy.' I said 'you have told me that already' and she said that it was so that the top manager didn't see me 'jigging' and doing nothing. 3 times she told me and on the third time I pulled the disability card. I said 'I have a mental health problem and need clear instructions and it takes me a long time to take things in.' Her whole attitude changed (probably because she knew about the disability in the workplace act). She then told me again that it was just to stop the other manager (her husband) from having a go.
I was so triggered I could hardly hold back the tears! My other manager, who is nice, asked me to go do some facing up and I told him I didn't think I'd last until the end of the week. I told him the hours were too long and I was tired but I couldn't say anymore because I was too upset and when he went away I was wiping tears away like mad. I kept trying to ground myself by holding a stone in my pocket that KP had given me and sniffing some essential oil. I was fighting negative thoughts but everything in me said 'this is just like nursing, I am back on the ward, you need to run and not stop until your heart bursts.'
The bosses went home and the whole atmosphere changed. I was offered a break but I refused and told my line manager later that had I gone for a break I would have got in my car and not come back. I was working with a 17 year old lad who had been told off for having one hand in his pocket! My line manager came across and we chatted about how we were feeling, she had cried the night before and when she said this I burst into tears and she hugged me. Nearly all the girls working there have cried so it isn't just me, both the laads have been shouted at. I said I wanted to leave but my line manager said that the management were actually very happy with my work! Well wouldn't it be nice if they actually told us that instead of just having a go at us?!
I think it has been the negativity that has affected me these last few weeks. My manager has lowered my hours and I have refused to do more. I sobbed when I came home and my H and Son were furious! My eldest Son told me to read the disability discrimination act and take no nonsense from them. My sister, who was a manager herself for a very big international company, was shocked and told me to leave if it got any worse! (Her husband owns and runs an international company too). My youngest Son, who has been through worse than this said if they didn't stop it he would go down and sort them out! It isn't worth my mental health.
Questions:
Why if they want the company to be a success do they treat people like this? Power trip?
Why do I have to keep pretending to tidy the same area over and over and pretend to be busy so it doesn't upset the boss? Surely if we are not busy it is obvious to everyone and we pull the stops out when we are busy? Why pretend? It makes me a sycophant and that is something I refuse to be - to lower my integrity for the sake of keeping him happy!
Why not give praise where praise is due and not just complaints and tellings off?
I am not a happy bunny! I want to leave and never go back. My youngest Son has been through something similar and suggests I arrange an intervention after talking to some other staff.
Rant over!
@CraftyCath : Before anything else I'd like to give you a supporting hug.
I'm so sorry that the situation at your work place is such a mess. I had some similar situations and understand that you're not feeling well there. Work is a big part in our lives and ...it's not worth that we break because of it. Especially because you already had problems before.
I don't know why they treat the people like this. I have the same problem in my organisation. If you're not the proactive type, you're just left behind. It's something in the modern systems of work places.
I totally agree with you on the pretending thing. But...it's the same problem at my place. I work hard, a lot...and then I don't have anymore work to do but still have to stay there to fill my hours and have to look busy because all others would get mad. Nowadays, everyone has to seem busy and working - otherwise you're not tolerated. It's so stupid. I'm really with you on this matter.
But I also think that you can also be proud of yourself. You went there for two weeks. You didn't drop out immediately. And I think after all you experienced there...it's not a loss when you retreat. You tried, that's already worth a lot.
I'm so sorry that the situation at your work place is such a mess. I had some similar situations and understand that you're not feeling well there. Work is a big part in our lives and ...it's not worth that we break because of it. Especially because you already had problems before.
I don't know why they treat the people like this. I have the same problem in my organisation. If you're not the proactive type, you're just left behind. It's something in the modern systems of work places.
I totally agree with you on the pretending thing. But...it's the same problem at my place. I work hard, a lot...and then I don't have anymore work to do but still have to stay there to fill my hours and have to look busy because all others would get mad. Nowadays, everyone has to seem busy and working - otherwise you're not tolerated. It's so stupid. I'm really with you on this matter.
But I also think that you can also be proud of yourself. You went there for two weeks. You didn't drop out immediately. And I think after all you experienced there...it's not a loss when you retreat. You tried, that's already worth a lot.
roaminggnome
Gold Member
@CraftyCath-Many hugs are being sent to you. When I tried working 2 years ago in retail a similar thing happened to me. The shifts I signed up for became longer. I worked on Black Friday for 12 hours with a half hour break. Which was illegal. I was continually yelled at by one manager who had it in for me. When there were no customers at the cash register I was told to tidy up the intimates section. The only problem was that you couldn't see the register from the intimates department. Then I got yelled at for leaving the register empty. All of my PTSD symptoms came back in full force. I quit after 2 weeks. I couldn't manage the schedule with my medication schedule either. I let HR and the manager know that I have PTSD and I was treated like I was crazy.
I don't know why people treat people this way. Maybe it is a power trip. And I never got why I had to tidy and pretend that I was busy either. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. Hang in there, practice self care, and do what you think is best for you.
I don't know why people treat people this way. Maybe it is a power trip. And I never got why I had to tidy and pretend that I was busy either. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. Hang in there, practice self care, and do what you think is best for you.
rainy_daze
Diamond Member
That seems like a normal thing to do CC. I thought people do this in shops when it isn't busy. I don't see what the big deal about it is, at all :banghead:. It's like someone saying you can't be content in your workplace, that is stupid. Why play music if staff can't hum along and move a little bit? Are you supposed to be a statue, or make work for yourself that doesn't exist. It's madness = :O_o:.
I'm glad you have your supportive network of family and friends, and the nice manager/other staff. I like the intervention suggestion a lot.
You're being treated shitty, and this is more than undeserved. I'm so sad to hear it has turned out this way, but so proud of you for sticking up for yourself by telling the woman about instructions/your mental health, having a cry and chats with the understanding staff, and for using the grounding stone and smelling oils. Also, well done on sticking it out, when you wanted to leave.
:hug:s CC, you're too good for that place. Please do not allow the bullies/insensitive higher ups make your heart burst. They are completely at fault for treating you this way. Shame on them.
I'm with roaminggnome on this too, do what is best for you.
- Post starter
- #44
CraftyCath
VIP Member
@Anrish @Nighthawk @roaminggnome @rainy_daze
Thank you all so much for your kind replies :hug:'s to you all. I truly am grateful for your support in this.
Well I have cried for 3 days solid on and off and have not slept for that time either. I chatted to my sister yesterday who has worked as a manager for a massive (famous name) international company and her husband is owner/manager/CEO of his own international company. She said this is what big companies are like and they are all on a power trip.
I spent last night contemplating what to do and discussed it with my H this morning. Knowing that I would cry again as soon as I got into work I made the decision to ring work and tell them I was not coming back. The phone lines were down so I rang my manager on my mobile. I had him on speaker so my H could hear. I said that I had decided that the job wasn't for me because the communication was dreadful and my PTSD was bad. he said it was a shame because I had begun really well! Way to give encouragement after the event! Too late mate! I said I thought it strange as I felt I couldn't do right for doing wrong! I said the atmosphere was dreadful and that I had seen his staff get upset, cry and that they were all working in fear. He said it was only like that when C.... was there which proves that he knows what is going on! I said that he should not be creating that kind of atmosphere and that I was not prepared to put up with it. (One of the other staff told me that this C...., the owner, had taken one of the young lads out and absolutely blasted him - this is not on! Why did he just ask the poor lad did he have any problems? Working in fear like that people are bound to make mistakes). He then asked me would I work a weeks notice! Ha! My sister had checked my contract and it said that for under one months service I didn't have to give notice so I told him no! I told him that I had been triggered by this boss and his wife and sent right back to my original trauma and was reliving all of it.
He wasn't happy and just said I had to send him a letter and return my uniform. Well, thanks for caring mate! Oh I will send a letter and boy will they know about it!
I am still angry but as my sister said she cannot see a company doing well if they treat staff like that!
I am now resting and trying to ground myself and get all my fragmented parts back together - not easy but I'll not give them the satisfaction of seeing me fall apart - I will fight to get myself back to where I was before. Poor but happy! My H has been so worried about me and said he wants to come home and see me happy and is now very angry with how I have been treated! I am
@KP the nut Sorry I haven't been in touch hun, my landline is still not holding a charge. Steve and I would love to come over and see you and H very soon if you are both up for it and can cope with the tears.
Feet up, bar of chocolate and wine later. :cry: :cry: :cry:
Thank you all so much for your kind replies :hug:'s to you all. I truly am grateful for your support in this.
Well I have cried for 3 days solid on and off and have not slept for that time either. I chatted to my sister yesterday who has worked as a manager for a massive (famous name) international company and her husband is owner/manager/CEO of his own international company. She said this is what big companies are like and they are all on a power trip.
I spent last night contemplating what to do and discussed it with my H this morning. Knowing that I would cry again as soon as I got into work I made the decision to ring work and tell them I was not coming back. The phone lines were down so I rang my manager on my mobile. I had him on speaker so my H could hear. I said that I had decided that the job wasn't for me because the communication was dreadful and my PTSD was bad. he said it was a shame because I had begun really well! Way to give encouragement after the event! Too late mate! I said I thought it strange as I felt I couldn't do right for doing wrong! I said the atmosphere was dreadful and that I had seen his staff get upset, cry and that they were all working in fear. He said it was only like that when C.... was there which proves that he knows what is going on! I said that he should not be creating that kind of atmosphere and that I was not prepared to put up with it. (One of the other staff told me that this C...., the owner, had taken one of the young lads out and absolutely blasted him - this is not on! Why did he just ask the poor lad did he have any problems? Working in fear like that people are bound to make mistakes). He then asked me would I work a weeks notice! Ha! My sister had checked my contract and it said that for under one months service I didn't have to give notice so I told him no! I told him that I had been triggered by this boss and his wife and sent right back to my original trauma and was reliving all of it.
He wasn't happy and just said I had to send him a letter and return my uniform. Well, thanks for caring mate! Oh I will send a letter and boy will they know about it!
I am still angry but as my sister said she cannot see a company doing well if they treat staff like that!
I am now resting and trying to ground myself and get all my fragmented parts back together - not easy but I'll not give them the satisfaction of seeing me fall apart - I will fight to get myself back to where I was before. Poor but happy! My H has been so worried about me and said he wants to come home and see me happy and is now very angry with how I have been treated! I am
@KP the nut Sorry I haven't been in touch hun, my landline is still not holding a charge. Steve and I would love to come over and see you and H very soon if you are both up for it and can cope with the tears.
Feet up, bar of chocolate and wine later. :cry: :cry: :cry:
- Post starter
- #46
CraftyCath
VIP Member
@Nighthawk Thanks sweetie, this is the first time I have put myself first. I have missed doing my art because I have been wound like a spring and unable to concentrate.
I am going to concentrate on my art and medieval fairs where I can be my own boss and enjoy myself - no tears here so at least I can be positive...
I am going to concentrate on my art and medieval fairs where I can be my own boss and enjoy myself - no tears here so at least I can be positive...
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- #48
CraftyCath
VIP Member
Thanks Britt! :hug:
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