Judgemental

[Kiziham]

I am a supporter. Something has happened in my life that classifies for criterion A traumatic event. Years ago. I did not end up with PTSD. If anything it made me stronger. I never tell people because I do not want them to feel sorry for me.

Other things have happened in my life that do not classify as _

 

[Kiziham]

Great. I cannot edit. Posted too early. Other things have happened that do not classify as a criterion trauma. Failing an exams, a man I loved did not want me. I was devasted. Beaten down - not PTSD but I felt horrible. I moved on since, but still do remember how horrible it was and still do feel horrible thinking of it.

My spouse has PTSD from serving in a war zone. People have been telling me that he cannot have real PTSD because he was a computer guy. why do they have to be so judgemental? People are different. Different events cause different reactions in different people.

 

[Kiziham]

All I want to say is that I think there is no right way to feel about something. Feelings are feelings and don't always make sense. Don't call people fakers because they suffer from a broken heart. When this man did not want me I felt like I was never going to be happy again.

 

[Kiwu]

I was with you right up until the last part. :) People do, indeed respond very differently.

A broken heart is it's own tragedy. People die of broken hearts. But that doesn't make a broken heart cancer, just because people also die of cancer.

 

[Onofo]

Spot on kiwu - I think I have lost the point you were trying to make kiziham .

 

[Ikak]

You seemed to change tack part way through, and I'm not sure what your point was in the end. Whether it was being upset about people minimising your partners diagnosis, or whether it was about feeling like the effects of your break up were being minimised by people with Criterion A trauma?

I think there are two different things that get attributed as 'faking it'.

There are those who are just completely fake, in that their story is made up and/or hugely exaggerated, people living in a fantasy world if you like. I don't think you see that here very often but when it does come up I think it's usually indicative of some fairly serious underlying mental health issues. The person clearly needs help and support from somewhere, but a PTSD forum isn't going to be the best place to get it.

They other notion of 'fake' is someone who claims to have PTSD, but from something that doesn't cause PTSD. Personally I don't view this as fake, but more misguided, or uneducated about the disorder, but it understandably causes frustration at times. I don't think it's about minimising that person's suffering, it's more often a statement of fact - you are unlikely to have PTSD from x event. It may be causing you suffering and distress, and you deserve help and support from that, but again, a PTSD forum for people suffering the effects of the type of trauma that cause PTSD is not going to necessarily be the best place to get that help.

This is a PTSD forum for sufferers (and their supporters) of criterion A trauma. It's not a general mental health forum. There are lots of those out there for people to get support from too if that fits their issues better.

 

[Ewe]

I was talking about the people who say things like

What about the ones who say "I've got PTSD from being dumped by my boyfriend."? No you don't honey. That's just an old fashioned broken heart.

and

Lol - you mean you can't self diagnose PTSD after a particularly harrowing stubbed toe?

.

I never self-diagnosed with PTSD but compairing a broken heart with a stubbed toe is just so wrong and hurtful. There are people who kill themselves over a broken heart.

I was also talking about people (not on this board) who say my husband cannot have PTSD because what he went trough was not bad enough and he is just crazy.

 

[Eruj]

Ewe = Kiziham by the way. Why does this board give you another name every time you post?

 

[Foruka]

The quotes are from a different thread. It might be more useful, and give you more insight into why people are saying those things, to respond directly to that thread?

Why does this board give you another name every time you post?

Because it's in the anonymous forum.

 

[Ejawig]

Having read the thread I think it's obvious that the stubbed toe remark wasn't made in comparison to a broken heart, the stubbed toe remark was a slightly sarcastic/humorous comment on some of the posts where PTSD is clearly not involved.

 

[Opatik]

Sober up and make a clear argument. You take two quotes from two different people and argue that comparison is bad. Uhm, nobody is comparing a stubbed toe to a broken heart. Now you are making up arguments to inflame people. So not cool. You deserve zero of my time as I prefer to help people who have real problems, not those who are attention seekers who stir up non existent drama.

 

[Awu]

Sorry, I am angry and might regret saying what I say. I am angry because people gossiped about my husband - coming here just to find people here are gossiping about those whose boyfriends left them. Something some people kill themselves over.

I would be very happy if people like you stoped wasting your time on people like me... but you prefer to waste your time saying that things that happen to us aren't bad, aren't you?

And now you are wasting it trying to insult me.

Yes, please DO STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON ME!!!!! I AM MUCH HAPPIER WITHOUT BEING INSULTED.

Why do you waste your time doing this if it is so precious and you have more important problems? You people started this by anonymously gossiping. Two persons talked about broken heart and then the other person talked about the stubbed toe. If the person was not compairing those thinks he or she should speak out and explain what he or she ment instead.