Just Finished First Cbt After I Was A Total Mess...

[TXbandit]

When the session was over she had me do a breathing technique focusing on getting the anxiety out. It was working but my anxiety was too high. On the way back to work, my mind was racing with so many thoughts I almost hit someone in front of me at a red light. I was looking right at the truck!!! WTF?!!!! I pulled over and had a panic attack. Will it always be like this or will it get better each time I go? I have another appointment next Thursday at the same time. I almost cancelled this appointment today now after this I am more than likely going to cancel the next one...

 

[mrsps]

Sorry it was so tough for you. I don't think you should cancel your next appointment but can you have an appointment where you don't need to go back to work after? Sounds like you need more time afterwards to calm yourself before driving. Even just to sit in your car for a little while before driving away. Good luck :)

 

[TXbandit]

I sat in my truck after but I guess I should have stayed put longer. Is that normal? I have never had therapy in my whole life even though I have needed it. The consult, assessment and counseling were extremely hard on me but took a day or so to really set in. I'm afraid this will do the same thing.

 

[mrsps]

I think it is normal as it is often difficult to get the hang of CBT. You properly feel overwhelmed and that's why you don't want to go back. I would let your T know this and she can pace the sessions accordingly.

We have to go through the hard stuff to be able to see the good stuff at the other end. it can be very frustrating but we just need to stick with it and have faith that we will come out the other side a better person

 

[ghotiff]

I haven't done CBT but I put my appointment with my T at the end of the day so I don't have to go back to work. I don't see myself being able to work after.

 

[mrsps]

I too have always made my appointments after work or on a day off so I have time to reflect on that days session. I think this is important :)

 

[BlueOrange]

Effective therapy is hard work. My level of difficulty and tiredness afterwards can vary, but I've gone back to catching the train to and from. Some of my symptoms make it very difficult to drive safely.

 

[shell]

I wait for over 15 minutes before I drive, and I never have appointments where I have to go back to work. I used to drive a short distance to a local park and wait for another 1/2 hour.

I now drive to a place where it overlooks the ocean, and I can get out and walk and deal with what comes up, before I attempt to drive the rest of the hour trip home. I have experienced a panic attack very early in my sessions and soon learnt it is very important to be grounded and not still dissociated before driving.

The great thing about taking time out for me is that it helps me to not feel angry at my family when I get home because I just want to be left alone.

 

[Jane.l]

Don't cancel - I hated my first cbt session almost never went back but it does become less panicky and it becomes easier as you build a relationship and trust.

I never drive after - I walk and catch a train and block out as much time as possible - it takes me ages to process everything we have done in session and I tend to be zoning in and out for the rest of the day if it's been a tough session. Try and stick with it and give yourself time to recover after if you can.

 

[anthony]

@TXbanditlady it gets better, yes. Therapists love to think, make themselves feel better, and meet ethical obligations, by thinking clients are all okie-doky on leaving their office, but the reality is that your symptoms are near guaranteed to spike on leaving, and then reduce over the next few days before the next session. The idea is that you use what you learn in the sessions to manage yourself through the weeks, you keep tackling the tough stuff in sessions, and over the course of a few months you should find your symptom severity decreasing, your reaction to sessions being minimalist, and you should be using more doing aspects you learn in sessions within each and every week of your life.

With more time, more practice and refinement, you get better and better at self management and processing anything traumatic that comes to you, or happens to you, including even stress.

 

[TXbandit]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I will schedule my appointments later so I don't have to go back to work afterwards. I had a tough time last night trying to deal with exerting and ended up drinking too much. I know it's not good but that's what I've done to cope since I was very young. I'm going to keep my appointment next week and tell her what happened yesterday. This is really hard for me but I know I have to stick with it or I will never get better.

 

[Jane.l]

Well done - good idea to talk to your T about what happened yesterday. I tend to self medicate with drink too, don't beat yourself up about it things take time to change. Though my T and I were talking about this the other day and he said the thing is if I just drown myself after every session any good we've done gets washed away again - any new pathways we've started to bulid get taken down straight away - so it is a barrier to recovery but we have to go one step at a time. Hope your next session goes well.