Just looking for feedback, i guess - reaction to appointment summary

[Bananie]

I get these after visit summaries from my t. They're basic, just what I talked about, his response, goals and plan.

Digression already; At my first appointment he said, I send after visit summaries if you want them, do you want them? And I said, sure, why not? And he said some people don't like them. I forget what he said about WHY they didn't like them, because I was too enthralled at the idea. I really wanted something like that from last t, but it wasn't ever offered and I didn't think t ask. Shortly after that first appointment with new t, I ended up calling the clinic that I had seen my old t at and requested my records. A friend of mine kept saying "you don't really want those, they're awful. You think they're on your side and they're not" but I really did. Then I got them, and read through them, and had to agree with her, wow, these really do suck! I couldn't figure out why though, until I'd had a few more appointments and summaries with this t.

They're so impersonal.

I know they're just summaries, and couldn't possibly include everything that goes on in "the room", but....

I dunno. Especially with old t, I really appreciated the relationship, and we had SO many great/memorable moments that to see something that felt so great spelled out so boringly in black and white hurt a little.

Oh well, maybe the real stuff transcends words anyway.

Anywho, after this week's appointment, where I explained that I had just had another 5 day....blank period (existence just seemed too hard and weird to handle, so I didn't go any further than the sidewalk in front of the house to smoke, and the rest of the time, I was just kinda....in my apartment, not doing much), which included missing 3 days of work, putting me at risk of a written warning (that I luckily am not actually receiving), the response was "given what you were experiencing, isolating yourself makes sense."

I'm having a reaction to it, but I have no idea what it is.....well, I know I'm not bothered. Obviously curious. I guess maybe a little validated? And that's why I feel so odd?

I know you guys can't tell me what I feel about that.....but like, what is your reaction?

Apologies if this doesn't make sense, if it shouldn't be posted here, or if it's a dumb question. Me brain just has NOT been working well lately, and I also should....try to connect with people and accept advice and help and support....or something like that, and what better place than here with you brilliant people?

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’ve never been given summaries by my various therapists. They don’t take notes during the visit, so if they were to summarize them, it makes sense that they would be brief observations as opposed to a narrative text that has an emotional component. I’ve read Psychiatrist notes on me and they are boring. My advice is to follow your gut. If you have good rapport in the therapy hour, that’s where the real work is done. Take your cues from how they relate with you in session. If you have Medicaid or Medicare they have to produce progress notes.

 

[EveHarrington]

I’m so paranoid about what those notes say that I don’t ever transfer them when I move from one therapist to the next. I want each therapist to make independent observations and don’t want them to just rely on what another has said/thought about me.....which is essentially just an opinion, and opinions can be wrong. Maybe this is working against me, but it is what it is. I’ve had bad luck with doctors not actually doing their job with independent assessments of me, listening only to what a previous doctors opinion, and I don’t want this to happen again as it ultimately prevents me from moving forward.

 

[Stephernovas]

I get periodic ones for workers comp. however even those are geared to my currently wellbeing, specifically if I’m ready to discuss a return to work.

** addition to previous post**

They are purposefully vague and meant to be impersonal. I recall within my work (social worker), we were told to keep notes bare like that so it’s easier for us to advocate for the client. Too much information, and you could accidentally back yourself into a corner. Notes should be factual observations. Remember, these can be ordered by the courts and etc in certain situations. If that ever occurred to you, I’m sure you’d appreciate the “impersonal” nature of those notes.

 

[Freida]

My T and I have talked about it and decided I'm better off NOT reading them because I will spend way to much time trying to find hidden meanings in psycho-babble speak. And she's right -- the couple that I did read just totally undid me. Even when they didn't say anything that I didn't really know. These are the notes she uses for my disability claim so they have to be really impersonal and worded for the courts and insurance companies. I'm better if we just talk.

 

[Rumors]

Maybe they are for insurance purposes hence the reason why they are vague... I wouldn't read them if they bother you.

 

[MyWillow]

Yeah I can't think of anything worse to be honest. We rarely discuss one therapy session to the next - that confused the hell out of me for a while but after some reading I understand that this is a good technique for someone who is hell bent on avoiding.

And OMG yes @Freida that's exactly what I would do lol!!! And then I'd find every relevant scientific journal article. So. Not. Helpful.

 

[Suzetig]

It sounds like you expected something more personal, maybe that communicates some of the warmth you feel in session with her or that reflected how much you’re impacted by your symptoms?

I can understand wanting to hold on to something of the session when you’re struggling and it feels like a safe, calm place to be but I don’t think that can really be conveyed in writing. It’s ok to want it but hard to achieve I suppose.

How would you have written up that session - it might be helpful for you to write your own summary before you see hers and compare the two, you might get a sense of what it is that you’re struggling with and why.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I read mine from my last t. She said they would be rather boring and really just notes for her to remind herself of things. They’re just notes they’d need to have for court, you know? So saying something personal just wouldn’t be appropriate. I remember reading that I “seemed happier today” and “was interested more in me and my life (t)”

There was something else about how I chose not to do something and a note was added “which is her right” and I can’t help but wonder if she added that before she let me see them so I wouldn’t be offended....

But they didn’t bother me. I wanted to see them to see if there was something she noticed about me that I didn’t see. Something I was blind to and needed to know. But nope.

And your t’s comment about how skipping work seems appropriate given your mood or whatever he said, basic validation terminology. That crap sounds so canned sometimes, doesn’t it?

 

[Friday]

which is her right” and I can’t help but wonder if she added that before she let me see them so I wouldn’t be offended....

Far more likely so that a court officer wouldn’t find you non-compliant with therapy and therefore a risk to your kids*, or an insurance company as treatment resistant, and cease payment for current & future therapy.

Offending clients is the least of most therapists I know concern about their notes. They’re concerned with clients who are great parents losing their children in a custody battle, being forced to discontinue therapy due to insurance dropping them... real world, life changing big deal stuff. Hurt feelings? Not even in the same ball park.

* Don’t have kids? In my divorce my therapy notes were ordered from 20 years prior. Just because something may not be relevant in a clients life today doesn’t mean in 10/15/20 years it may not be extremely relevant. And that client will be being judged on info decades out of date. Good therapists are extremely careful about what they put in writing.

They're so impersonal.

In the US therapy notes are often read in open court -or entered into the record- in divorce cases, custody cases, etc. And then once they’re on the public record? Every job, lover, neighbor who hates you, nosy PTA-mom, etc. can read them. How much personal info do you really want people you hope to impress, or with an axe to grind, to know about you?

You WANT your notes all but written in Morse Code, and the shorter & sweeter the better

 

[Bananie]

Thanks everyone for reading and responding. I just looked briefly for now, as I'm off to work, but I really appreciate it
I know I wasn't specific enough, but I was kinda more looking for reactions to the "given what you were experiencing, isolating yourself makes sense".
I will read more in depth and respond after I'm free from my cube, lol

 

[Bananie]

Oh wow there are responses about the phrase, I just didn't see.
So sorry guys, I'll get it together one day.