Sufferer Just Looking To Relate To Others- What Is 'normal' Anyway?

[Ellie2014]

I'll admit that I'm obsessed with the idea of being normal. My life has been a series of unfortunate events that have landed me with a ptsd diagnosis 6 months ago, though I first suspected I had ptsd almost 10 yrs ago when I was 23. Life can be great one day, month, year and then something will trigger me and all of a sudden the nightmares return, I become trapped in my own mind, push people away and the downward spiral begins. It's hard pulling myself out. I truly feel like I've been fighting for my life the past 6 months. The one and only time I've ever trusted to call a therapist in crisis was this past week and my psychiatrist said he believed there were some boundaries crossed on the therapist's part (note to self: don't befriend the therapist next time). SO, back at square 1.......obviously discouraging considering I was not in a good place to begin with and now I have to start over with a new therapist. I'm hoping this forum helps provide some support, insight, and at least helps me feel like I might possibly, even a tiny-little-bit, have the potential for normalcy. Sick of PTSD and would like to kick it in its face.

Warning: I curse like a sailor and may have glossed over the rule against it. I don't care if it's discouraged -free speech people....unless, of course, it's not. In which case, I would appreciate the heads up from a kind soul.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome.

This is an international forum so free speech does vary. Not sure what the Aussie laws say (per free speech), but no, we can't say *anything* we want (per forum rules). Cursing is discouraged because it turns people away. Just be prepared for less feedback when you post. You can start a trauma diary and be as colorful as you'd like in there. The rules are a bit more lax.

 

[Ellie2014]

Thanks for the advice!

 

[Hashi]

Hi Ellie,

Welcome to the forum.

I think Solara's advice is wise. I'm not sure what the actual rules are around cursing. I personally wouldn't read or respond to a post full of cursing, although others might.

I long for normal. I know some people say there's no such thing, everyone has issues, PTSD or not. But for me it's very clear. Normal is not being consumed by trauma and its effects. Normal is having ups and downs in life, and still having upsets, but being able to handle them. Those ups and downs are within a range that 80% of the population experiences. A lot of the time is balance and calm. Normal is enjoying hobbies and seeing friends without having to force myself to leave the house or rating my anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10. Normal is taking care of myself without having to put it on a list of things I want to achieve that day.

So that's what I'm working towards, and gradually getting there.

I'm sorry that you've been experiencing such turmoil and crisis. I'm concerned about what you say about your therapist - they should not have befriended you or crossed boundaries. Maybe the therapy section here can help you with what to look for in a new therapist.

I hope being on the forum will help you.

 

[digger]

There is no rule about swearing/cursing on the forum. There are rules about directly attacking other members, so swearing at people is best avoided, but swearing as part of your post - there's no rule about that. As others have said, you might get less of a response to a post full of swearing because some people don't like it and will choose to avoid posts like that, but it does just come down to personal choice.

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Ellie,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

PTSD has been described as "as normal response to an abnormal event". Honestly, I find that most people with PTSD are a lot more "normal" than we think we are. I spent a lot of time and wasted energy trying to achieve the elusive "normal", until I started to think of "normal" as a range, and realized that sometimes my responses to certain situations fell at the top end or just outside that "normal" range. I realized that I wasn't defective and focused on the areas where PTSD caused me the greatest amount of discomfort in my present life. Sure, I am different than I was prior to the onset, but everyone one changes over time and different is OK.

I had to smile about your cussing as when I am frustrated or angry I tend to cuss like crazy. It is a release and I figure a whole lot better than throwing or hitting something. :eek: Trauma therapy can go a long way in helping a person recover, but let go of the "normal" and focus on who you are and want to be and then just work on being the best "you". It isn't easy, but it is very freeing once you get there.

Debbie

 

[Ellie2014]

Thanks for the welcome everyone and thanks for your advice on what is normal. It seems like a common struggle and I do like the idea of a range vs a set standard. And yes, the boundary issue with the therapist has left me thrown for a loop and wondering what's "normal" in therapy also. Unfortunately, I have cptsd from childhood trauma and not much "normal" relationship background experience to pull from. Great advice on the therapy section-- I'll check it out.

To clarify, I curse because it's my sense of humor to be sarcastic/cynical. I would never come to a support forum and attack others (I'd rather lift them up, as demonstrated in my recent response posts). And while I understand the cursing may be a turn off to some, I guess I made it pretty clear in my original post that, well, I really don't mind. I'm not looking for validation, just to follow any site rules if they exist.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the Forum! 'Normal' is very subjective, and sounds pretty darned boring to me. Being normal is an opinion, and everyone has a different opinion. I'm so glad that you have your sense of humor! That means you are more normal than you think! Having a sense of humor is VITAL to our soul's survival!

I have CPTSD from a crummy childhood, but I've realized, after reading others' stories, mine almost sounds like a 'cake walk'. But, we can't compare stories because deep pain and sorrow are just that, and though we arrive here by different traumas, we share our pain!
Blessings to you,
AKJ (formerly known as AngelkeeperJ