The last time I saw my friend was last Monday. It was his birthday. I handed him a gift and later that evening he sent me a text saying how thankful he is and that I know him very well. He also told me he loves me. I spoke to him Wednesday and he sounded irritated about something. I kept in touch the whole week but did not get any response from him. I saw him today at work for a special meeting. While he gave everyone a hug, he skipped me. I tried talking to him here and there, and he would give short responses. I asked him how he was, and he said he's ok. After work, he finally gave me a hug. I asked him if everything is ok. He said "I'm ok. Just feeling weird." Then he motioned something with his head. I asked him what he meant, and he just said he's been on vacation and he feels like he needs to get back on the swing of things. I called him after we left, and he blamed me when he almost hit a car because he had to look at his phone. I told him I wanted to follow him to the store so I could spend a little bit of time with him, and he said "yeah right. You went the other away." I told him I didn't want to follow him without letting him know. Then I made a comment telling him how I thought he was ignoring me, then he blurted " I saw big Ben.". I was like "what?". He meant the big Ben in London, but he said it out of nowhere. I told him I'd take him there but he didn't believe me. He just said " yeah right." I told him I miss him and I love him, and all he could say was "wow" three times. Then he had to hang up. He said he'll call right away. After 15 minutes I called him again, but he said he'll call me later. When I asked him if I could ask him something " he was about to yell, but I cut him off and I said "bye."
It hurts knowing he could spend time with his cousins, family, friends, but not with me. He always says "later." I know he is dissociating right now. Every time we get close, he seem to keep his distance afterwards. I understand it's his disorder, but I still can't help but feel hurt sometimes. I wish I could get him help, but I can't even tell him I think he has PTSD. Maybe there are other underlying issues, but for the most part, I know PTSD is one of his problems.
It hurts knowing he could spend time with his cousins, family, friends, but not with me. He always says "later." I know he is dissociating right now. Every time we get close, he seem to keep his distance afterwards. I understand it's his disorder, but I still can't help but feel hurt sometimes. I wish I could get him help, but I can't even tell him I think he has PTSD. Maybe there are other underlying issues, but for the most part, I know PTSD is one of his problems.
