I'm right there with you, I think a lot of us who suffer from PTSD due to childhood abuse do. After all we were taught that we better NOT SPEAK ABOUT ANYTHING by our abusers! So is going to take a while for us to be comfortable speaking our minds or feelings about anything as it leaves us vulnerable. Our minds / bodies remember what happened the last time we were vulnerable, we were badly hurt. So or minds / bodies try to stop us from being vulnerable again as a defense mechanism. We have to retrain ourselves and that's going to take time. Baby steps are ok even if we "have to crawl and scratch a centimeter at a time", just so we are able to move forward. Hang in there, You're stronger than you think! ! I believe in you. :tup::smug:I spent my whole life not being able to speak what I was thinking or how I was feeling.