Relationship Just Need Some Support, Pushed Out By A Combat Vet With Ptsd.

[lanagirl28]

Ahhh, up to date --- I just got on to get my daily dose of hope myself. I truly do believe we shouldn't give up, I wouldn't want someone to give up on me and I can't imagine what demons he's battling. I feel this way 85 to 90 percent of the time, forgiving and patient. But sometimes I feel angry at him, or maybe just really impatient, and I feel kind of taken advantage of. But then I read Junebug's post again and can understand them wanting to sort of protect us... even just last week he said he's still not himself. But I don't know if that's the reason for him ignoring my outreaches this week? Sometimes I feel like I'm back at square one, but it's been almost three months. It's frustrating because he won't do.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who wakes up some days and feels like they woke up in a nightmare? This is the last thing I ever wanted and his inconsistency is so confusing, of course. Sorry, my head is just all over the place.

 

[Spring]

I go through those same thoughts and horrors each day, too - What demons or strongholds does he suffer and battle with.

Lately, I've been feelin' frustrated. I feel frustrated with myself - for not havin' enough patience. I think "why doesn't he feel better, yet?" And then I have to have a "meet with God" moment. I have people in my life who remind me that it's not somethin' like a cold, you don't just take a few days off and some meds and you're well again. I also get frustrated with myself. I keep feelin' that I can't shake what I feel. I feel a flood of emotions and confusion most of the time. Mostly, I just want to wake up and feel ok.

But at least you've had some contact=) That's a really big milestone and a big dose of hope.

 

[myvetswife]

I have people in my life who remind me that it's not somethin' like a cold, you don't just take a few days off and some meds and you're well again. I also get frustrated with myself. I keep feelin' that I can't shake what I feel. I feel a flood of emotions and confusion most of the time. Mostly, I just want to wake up and feel ok.

I can relate to that. My husband got diagnosed after 17 years of marriage. And it took a long hard time to settle. And the worst thing. It will always stay. Yes, they can manage to live with it, but me as his wife still watches out for triggers, still watches out for changes in his body language, in his mood. And I'm prepared that there will be always time where he is gonna fall back to bad times. Even when the good days are more than the bad ones.

 

[Spring]

You are an amazin' woman. I really hope how blessed he is to have you in his life... The toughest part of all of this is how he's pushed me away and out of his life. I struggle with contactin' him or not. I struggle with my own pain. And I struggle with what he might be feelin'.

 

[myvetswife]

I struggle with my own pain. And I struggle with what he might be feelin'.

Spring, as my hubby always says "Go away, leave me alone" But wishpers "but don't leave the room" "Don't touch me" "I need a cuddle" "Talk to me" "But don't open your mouth and say something".

Whatever I do in that situation is wrong anyway. Do I cuddle him? I doesn't want contact. Do I leave him alone and don't speak? I thinks I ignore him. What helps in one situation doesn't help in another situation. And it hurts both off us

 

[Dallas]

The majority of the success stories here seem to be people in long-term marriages, which are wonderful and inspiring stories. I am also wondering about success stories from people in dating relationships, people like myself and Spring.

Primarily because I have only dated my guy for a little over three months before he disappeared, I am forcing myself to stop thinking in terms that he is/was my "boyfriend". I am shifting my thinking to consider him now as a friend who is very ill. I will continue to reach out to him as a friend, the same way I would to anyone I know who is ill or in the hospital.

I know that I have not heard from him because he is unable to be in a relationship right now and I have to respect his boundaries. I assume that if he feels better at some point, and decides that he wants to be in a relationship with me he will let me know. I can then consider how emotionally/physically/spiritually healthy we both are at that point and make a more informed decision on how to proceed.

For now, I will send him occasional letters, telling him about God's love for him and that God is his strength, just as I would any friend who is sick and in the hospital. In the meantime, I will keep my oxygen mask on, and continue to make my life the most amazing and fulfilling and fun and interesting and productive and successful life I can. I will continue to fill my heart with God's grace and peace and love to heal my wounds and keep living an abundant life according to His will.

Sincerely, Dallas.

 

[Spring]

MyVetsWife, my heart and prayers go out to you. I know how much you must love him.

 

[Spring]

Hi, Dallas...

I agree, it helps me to refer to my sweetheart as a friend who is sick.... But to give you a little bit of background on us...

I met my boyfriend right in the middle of his therapy from his first combat tour from Afghanistan. He had been deployed for a year, he's a corpman, so he was put right in the front lines. He was home for about eight months when we met. I actually persued him - I emailed him and he responded about five days later. We emailed back & forth for about ten days. Then just like that, he disappeared. No word at all... Then about six weeks later, he reappeared. We emailed for about a month. Then we moved on to textin' for about another three weeks, then graduated to phone conversations for about another three weeks - Then after about two and a half months, he asked me out on a date. Shortly after we began to date (about two weeks) he said that he needed to tell me somethin' - He was bein' treated for PTSD.

 

[Dallas]

Thanks Spring. That is encouraging to know he reappeared, early in your dating life.

That should encourage you also, to know that he has come back to you.

Sincerely, Dallas.

 

[Spring]

You know, I never thought about that, Dallas. You're right. Thank you for helpin' me realize this.