Just Sent This To My Therapist. Count Down To Downhill

[Gs172003]

Not terrible - in pain and struggling. I don't think that feeling the need for some acknowledgement of s...

Thank you

 

[Deleted member 541]

I understand where you are @Zoogal. Personally I think that many of us feel/think that when we go through something tough, that we immediately need to talk to our T. I don't want this to come out as being harsh or cold, but Therapist have their own life outside of their office. I doubt that many of them are on the clock 24/7.

I also think that by not having that immediate contact, it allows us to brain storm with ourselves and that may actually help. We eventually learn to handle things on our own for the time being. We pull out our box of coping tools, self soothing stuff, and practice how to de-escalate the situation.

Life is hard, and it can be a bitch at times, but we are strong people. Self reliance is an important tool too.....

 

[Gs172003]

I understand where you are @Zoogal. Personally I think that many of us feel/think tha...

I know. That's why she taught me that stuff first. But it's still hard. I understand though. I'm a big girl now...I can't always rely on everybody else no matter how much it sucks and the truth is you all are all I have outside of her. Thank God for you all.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@Zoogal I think that was a really brave thing to do in disclosing something like this. You obviously do have a trust relationship with your therapist or wouldn't have said anything at all.

I know I'm just repeating what you've already heard, but I do think you need to give your therapist the benefit of the doubt. She may well be digesting what you've shared and will want to respond appropriately. It's true that some therapists give a lot of freedom to communicate in between sessions. Mine does that to some degree for some clients.

Perhaps at your next session, you might ask her about acknowledging that she did in fact get the message. How to handle that in the future.

I too would caution you about divulging anything to your husband at this time. I know what it's like to finally reveal something heavy, then get on a roll. Your husband is not equipped to digest this and may not respond well. It would be better to get some help before tackling that...however that looks.

You definitely need to put yourself in the priority mode. Not worry or support him right now. If you have a special outing or food, song, scent anything soothing for you. Take some "you time"... as best you can.

If you can't, than I'm patting you on the back. That was a huge risk and good for you for going forward. I was in a similar situation this week. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal I think that was a really brave thing to do in disclosing something like thi...

Thank you

 

[The Albatross]

Paradoxical thinking I think: ..."I can't always rely on everybody else no matter how much it sucks and the truth is you all are all I have outside of her". (compensating? for the need for support or avoiding self reliance? only you can know) Frankly it wasn't far on in therapy when I got called out on where my "real reliance" was... on others or on myself. You seem to be fudging when you say I can't rely on "everybody" else and "you all are all I have outside of her (my shrink)."

Granted you may not be/feel far enough along, however at some point will come a time (learned this a few times in recovery and by some pretty weapons grade people) that no one will be available. Real reliance, Zoogal, is on you/yourself.

What do you think and how do you feel about that?

 

[Gs172003]

I just told my husband. God.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

How did it go? How are you?

 

[Gs172003]

How did it go? How are you?

I want to punch holes in the walls. He is fine.

 

[Gs172003]

For some reason like an idiot i felt the need to tell him while at the gym. He was getting all over me last night about how bad I've been and how small my world is blah blah blah so I just texted it to him. Once I calmed down enough to come out of the bathroom I just hate everything.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Oh dear! That's not helpful. What do mean by "how bad I've been"

 

[Gs172003]

Oh dear! That's not helpful. What do mean by "how bad I've been"

I don't know how to explain it. His biggest complaint is I don't allow anybody in, especially him and he wasn't aware I don't like strange men until I was supposed to take my car to the shop and had issue with it.