General Keep Your Arms And Legs In The Vehicle At Times While The Ride Is In Motion!

[Steph_F]

I have that yucky feeling that I'm in for it again! :(

My honey is moving out of his rented house, he just moved in after losing his own home last fall. This time he is moving in with his mom and dad. I'm all for it!! But you can imagine what he must feel like. So much has happened in the last year for him. I know I sound like I'm bragging, but our relationship is about the only good thing that has happened to him. I don't pity him or feel sorry for him, but I try to be supportive and point out the good in all the bad.

I sure would like some advice from other supporters about how to be strong and not feel cut down all the time. He tends to "go away" and get numb when overhelmed with stress, but one thing he does that I just don't understand is that he keeps coming back at me, insulting me and disrepecting me. Maybe he is just acting like a jerk, I don't know.

Do any of your men/women do this??

 

[sisu]

Steph,
I had responded to this thread yesterday afternoon and when I logged in today I see that my response isn't here. I must have failed to hit "post reply" or something.... Grrr.

I will respond now.....

 

[sisu]

I am sure he feels like the world around him is crumbling and he is probably feeling out of control with the loss of the life he knew before PTSD. It would be hard not to be angry with all of that going on, but he should know that you are there supporting him because you love him and choose to be there for him. He should be leaning on you, not insulting you.

My guy once told me when he was in the Army he had to keep 3 bags packed at all times because when he was deployed he sometimes only had a matter of hours before reporting. Each bag was packed according to climate and he was told by the Army exactly what to pack in each bag down to the number of socks and underwear. What I am trying to say here is that in the military everything is always in control….no surprises and someone always tells you how to think ~ especially with the small details like this. Now that your BF is out of the military, no one is taking care of the little details anymore which also may make him feel out of control too if his PTSD isn’t managed well.

The insulting and disrespecting would be hard for me. I am lucky in the fact that my guy has never said anything even remotely insulting to me. If anything, he is too complimentary. I guess when your BF is talking to you like that, you have a choice. You can either take it. Or you can tell him that you don’t appreciate the insults and ask him to stop. If he continues to insult you, then leave and tell him to call you later when he calms down. Just because you love him doesn’t mean you have to be verbally abused when he is angry. He needs to find another outlet for his anger. Maybe running or some other exercise.

I don’t know…I think I rambled. I am still learning too – so I may have not helped you much. Maybe a different perspective. Hugs!