I get a little bit of time in the morning when I wake up, and my mind is calm. Then it all goes to hell.
I am so mad because when my mind loops and obsessions go into overdrive, that’s when I’m deemed to be “problematic” and told that I need to do DBT. I have tried it before and the structure of the program does not work for me in terms of actually giving me coping skills that I can work with. I have a ton of other coping skills that I use for PTSD, some of which I have had to work on for a long time before providing me with maximum benefit.
Plus, last time I checked, DBT isn’t a primary or even secondary treatment for OCD, of which I need help for getting a hold on the obsessions. ie why do I need DBT when I have symptoms in the OCD realm?
I am TIRED of people in their ignorance just slapping these imaginary diagnoses on me when they do not understand what is going on inside my head. They’ve driven me to hospitalization before and I’m trying to avoid that but it’s so hard. I an so alone. I act out because of my obsessive thinking and now I have nobody in my life except for my mom.
I feel like I have destroyed my life and I want a do over, but that’s not possible. I feel I am too old and have missed out on so much in life. I hate this. I have 3 weeks until I meet my new therapist and all I can do is take it minute by minute.