Lack Of Motivation

[mamachick]

When I first began having symptoms, I was still very motivated to make things better, to do the simple daily tasks we all must do-self care, housework, yardwork, repairs, grocery shop and meal prep, etc. Over time, I now have the empty nest. Where my calender was full 5 yrs ago, it is now blank, and I often cancel plans that I do have. I have no motivation to do the daily things.

For a long time I tried and felt overwhelmed with too much to do and my head swimming in things I had forgotten. I dont recall giving up but little by little I have done away with all structure in my life and have difficulty getting motivated to do anything. I was always energetic and on top of things. I am now lazy. I watch a lot of tv, read, play on computer, play with my dogs, and the minimal else. Does anyone else suffer from lack of motivation syndrome????

 

[NutritionNerd]

Yeah, complete and utter chaos exists here. Feel like I'm standing on the train tracks watching the train coming.

 

[mamachick]

I just dont feel like doing anything. I just look at my phone when it rings. I feel very guilty for being this way. I know I need structure-everyone does, but I just dont do it.

 

[maddog]

Gosh, can I ever relate. For me, typically, it's the social interactions that I find it hardest to follow through with. I frequently watch my phone ring and feel the aching sickening dread of knowing I just can't face the contact.

Going places to meet with people for so-called pleasureable social outings, feels like an endless series of mini tortures for me. Yes, the fact that I know this is integral to my overall coping doesn't make it any better. Even when I know I'll probably enjoy it, or at least tolerate it when I do go, the concept of committing and then following through is enough to drive me to utterly shameful tactics of avoidance. How often have I lied my way out of a commitment? How often have I wallowed in the shame and guilt and self-hatred of having treated people who are trying to support me so badly? How often have I watched the whole negative spiral snowballing all around me?

If it wasn't for my work routine, and the fact that I have a very indoctrinated sense of obligation to duty that makes it almost inconceivable for me not to meet my professional obligations, I fear I would struggle to leave the house at all. Work makes me move, makes me interact with people, and makes me keep making it through the hours that somehow turn into days, weeks and months.

I'm glad I live alone though, because not much happens in this house anymore that isn't strictly essential.

It's sad... I used to be such an energetic driven person, now the drive just feels like a memory of an obsession with self torture.

Maddog

 

[IvyMillie]

I think this is something I've seen happen to people, especially when they retire or go on disability. I think that you have to know what kind of person you are--to know what makes you happy. Are you happy living like that? I think some people are. They like the more laid back lifestyle.

I happen to be a person that thrives on being busy. I actually get deppressed if I don't have enough to do. I need it to be mentally content and to feel some accomplishment. I like order and routine--it makes me feel safer.

Mentally I also am happiest when I'm learning new things, interact with others, am active, and also I have to do something creative or I go kind of crazy. It's just a part of who I am. I can tell pretty quick though, when I get off balance somehow--it affects me right away.

However, as I mentioned you have to figure out what makes you happy. Are you happy with your routine? Do you feel satisfied at the end of the day? At the end of a year would you look back and be proud of yourself? If you answer "yes" to those questions that you probably are content.

If not, you may try to find something to get you excited about life. Take a walk, interact more with others, read a book, do something creative, or set a goal to accomplish something.

We all have the things that make us content and for everyone it's a bit different. It's good that we are all different and I hope that you can find the balance that works for you.

 

[mamachick]

Thanks Ivy-you ask some good questions. I am not proud at the end of the day, week or year. I dont like it. There is something not connecting in my brain. It is like not having an appetite but knowing you need to eat, or not feeling any sexual interest but knowing that sex is normal.

I have had tons of hobbies and interests in the past and have no interest in them now. I was constantly busy doing something, and looking forward to stuff as well. I dont get excited. If I won the lottery you would not see the emotion that would be expected.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I have had tons of hobbies and interests in the past and have no interest in them now. I was constantly busy doing something, and looking forward to stuff as well. I dont get excited. If I won the lottery you would not see the emotion that would be expected.

I relate VERY well, most days. When I do have good moments, I try to enjoy them, one at a time. I tell myself, at least there's no drama going on, unless it's in my head!

 

[wcdean]

Had this same conversation with my shrink last week. She told me it was part of my depression. Not sure if that's the same with you, but the conversation was almost verbatim to what you said in your original post.

 

[mamachick]

I can understand that, I struggle with the question-is this depression? sometimes I am convinced that it is not though. I guess the thing is, if it is depression, there are medications that can possibly help-an avenue to pursue. If it is not part of depression, do we just have to accept that we are different than we were in the past and learn to not feel guilty? I can only speak for myself, but I want the old me back, but if that is impossible, I would rather accept who I am than hate myself for who I am.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I can understand that, I struggle with the question-is this depression?

Personally, I don't know how I could feel shame without depression. For me, shame and guilt were the foundations upon which my life was built on as a minister's child. It's taken a lifetime to figure out what I really believe versus what was drummed into my brain!

 

[wcdean]

The two are certainly related. I attempted to explain the science behind it in the "Shame and Trauma" thread.

I have been taking Lexapro for about 6 weeks and Remeron for about 2. They have helped me a lot with my depression. I refused to take any medication for a long time, but until recently refused help of any kind. Finally got fed up with how I felt.

I think that you could find something to help you brat; it just depends on how willing you are to try the things. It's also important to note that there is some "trial and error" when shrinks prescribe meds. My Lexapro helped, but not enough on its own so the Remeron was added. When you commit to accept help, you have to be ready for a few missteps. Generally docs want to wait and see how 1 responds before changing/adding/subtracting others. It can be a longer process than many people are willing to endure; it's human nature to want to feel better now. Unfortunately the science/technology isn't quite there yet with this condition.

Example: I have an upper resp. infection right now (literally). I went to the doc and they say "Oh, you have an URI here's a Z-pac (Zithromax). You'll be fine in 4 days."

That won't happen with PTSD or it's symptoms. Meds can take 1-4 weeks before you start to notice the effects (some maybe longer, not a doctor). If it is the wrong med/dose/combo of meds you go back to square one with a new med/dose/combo which means another 1-4 weeks of seeing how that will affect you.

Make sure that the people you are seeing have treated PTSD before and make sure you know your family history (i.e. my dad takes Lexapro so it was a logical first med to try). This should help.

 

[IvyMillie]

Brat 17 it does seem like it might be related to deppression if you are not happy about it, and the fact that you used to be much different.

I think the thing with me when I'm deppressed (not severly just the blues) I actually have to force myself to do things I don't want to do. It's like do the opposite of what I want to do. Then I slowly get out of it. I'm not sure you have the motivation to force yourself to do what you don't want to though.

I wonder if you were able to (I don't know your full situation) force yourself just once a day to take a walk. Work your way up to a brisk walk. Feel the air outside and get your blood flowing. If you then felt better, even a little bit, then you might be able to tell if it is in your brain and a part of deppression. I know it wouldn't be strenuous enough to get serotonin (I think that's what it is), but just enough to elevate the mood in your brain.

What I do when I don't want to do something I'll say to myself "if you do this disagrreable thing then I will treat myself to something I like afterward."

I feel bad for you to be so joyless. However, I do think it's a symptom of deppression. I do think that you can try to treat it yourself and see if it helps a little. I'm not sure if it's severe or to what degree though.

A gazillion years ago I found that I was getting a bit deppressed and I had to really force myself out of it. I tried changing my thinking and it helped. Recently, I found myself also, getting too negative, so I'm really trying to change my outlook. I'm really concentrating on all the good things in my life. I'm trying to be more grateful about things in my life. It will take time, but I've found an improvement already.

This is helping me also to deal with my husband with PTSD as he is very negative and sometimes it wares on me. I just keep thinking in my head you know I have some things I'm really going to appreciate about my life. I had some health scares this summer and it made me realize you never know when you could have a sudden change for the worse with your health. I need to appreciate what I have now--as some day it might be too late.

I hope you can find a way to help yourself get out of this funk you are in. It sounds a bit sad and I'm sure you want out of it also. That's great that you have so much potential. You just need to find your joy again.

As someone else mentioned you may need to take medication. If you can't get out of it yourself. I think severe deppression does depend on length of feelings and intensity.