Are you coming back and reading this thread obsessively? It was really helpful but also pretty distressing. It's great to know there's other people to relate to. It's also soul crushing.Bleh.
I know when I get stuck I obsess over why I feel like I'm stuck. Dehumanization is definitely one of those things. Things will get better. Even when that evil curtain comes down and all you can see is the horrors of the world - it's lying to you.