Living In Pain And The Toll It Takes On The Mind

[ladee]

I too am starting to pay attention to what I eat and drink.
Its a process as money is so tight for me. But I know I can eliminate many things and then have money to get things that are better for me.
This is SO silly..my biggest challenge is going to be weaning myself off of citrus green tea. Every ingredient in is poison. And I'm straight up addicted to the stuff.
I'll get there...just not today.:D

 

[Deleted member 541]

@ladee I'm hooked on Salted Caramel tea, so yours doesn't sound as bad compared to mine.....UGH!!!!

 

[ladee]

I know..and it pisses pissesme off that stuff I love is so bad for me..
So guess I need to pick my pain...pain from putting things in my body that cause more problems...or pain of having to give up something I love.
Sooo..today I pick TEA!

 

[Deleted member 541]

About ready to lose my mind with the pain in my back and leg. I think I have a pinched nerve in my lower back and it's causing the pain in my leg. Had one about 10-12 yrs ago, same leg, same pain. Had epidural steroid injections and pain was gone.

Can't do steroids anymore, as I've now become sensitive to them. They cause severe anxiety. So, I called and made an appointment with a chiropractor. He's fitting me in tomorrow @2:15. If this doesn't work, I swear, I will get a f*cking chain saw and saw my f*cking leg off. Can't take much more of this...

Even if I decided to do the epidural injections, my appointment with pain clinic isn't until April, and then that have to d an assessment and testing. As slow as the process is, it could be summer before they could do it. By then, I'd either be minus a leg, one I'd kill someone.,,.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I will get a f*cking chain saw and saw my f*cking leg off.

I know this feeling VERY well!

I'm sorry! :(

 

[Deleted member 541]

Saw the chiropractor today. He did a complete history, and did some testing. I have lost all reflexes in my right leg, and some in left leg. I have nerve impingement in cervical and lower lumbar.

He wouldn't do any adjustments on me, because he said he was afraid to do so, because my body has been through long lasting trauma and with the fall, I've done more damage. He was shocked that when I fell, I picked myself up and went to into work. He called me a work dog, more than once. Not sure if that was an insult or compliment!??!?!?

Anyways, was there for almost 2 hours and then he sent me to our local hospital to have them burn a CD with all of my scans, X-rays and all medical info. The girl doing it kept saying to me,"sorry this is taking so long, but this is a book on you." Dropped that back off to him and have another appointment on Monday....

Oh, and to all of you that have been telling me about diet to reduce inflammation....... yeah, got a lecture on that too, along with a "do not eat", and "do eat list".... I might have to look into this.... UGH, there goes my bread, crackers, and pasta. Shit, I gave up f*cking drinking, gave up smoking pot, gave up men and sex... FOOD, is about the only f*cking pleasure I have left. I LOVE CARBS!!!!! f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have lost all reflexes in my right leg, and some in left leg. I have nerve impingement in cervical and lower lumbar.

Ive lost all in both for the same reason. Perm nerve damage.

He wouldn't do any adjustments on me

They stop touching me after the accident. They wont touch me still today.

diet to reduce inflammation

Doesnt work for me anyway

 

[Deleted member 541]

@lostforgottensoul I'm sorry that you too are dealing with this. I bet that when I get back there on Monday, he won't have good news for me after seeing all of my cervical and lumbar issues on the CD.

I told him that I was about to cut my leg off with a chain saw when he asked about the pain. Then I started to cry. Honestly, if he can't help me, I'm not sure I can make it until my appointment in April with the pain clinic.

 

[ladee]

I am So Sorry this whole issue is taking so long to get moving.
There has got to be a way to see PM doc Before April.
Is there an option for another PM doc?
We have so many around here someone would be able to see you ASAP.
Do you have any Dr's that would advocate for you to be seen as an emergency??
I know it's driving you insane. Literally.
As much as you don't want to hear this..changing my diet slowly..as I learn what not to eat is helping.
Now I'm not suggesting we meet at the TOFU Cafe...cause I ain't even eating that stuff.
We are not going to have to give up all things we love.
But it's also about "picking our pain".
The pain of being in pain because we are putting things in our bodies that are making things worse..
Or the plain of finding out what is causing more problems.
I have to look at it that I am giving up the pain. Not giving up food I like.
Hope this made sense.
You are not alone at this stage of your journey. I am right there with you.
But I also have to be accountable for making things worse by not doing what I can to stop abusing myself.
And for me..It is abuse.
Others abused me and I Had no choice but to endure.
Today I have the power to take my hard earned recovery and make it even better.
Sending you lots of hugs to put on the shelf to take as needed. Won't stop the pain.but it will remind you others are having this same battle.
Be good to you!!!

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @She Cat am with you (& @ladee & @lostforgottensoul ) too & relate as well.

Yes abuse & injury & circumstances & elder/ other care has left me the same as well. Just kills me as out here they say Physician Assisted Death is not an option but treat care-givers (& DV victims) as though you're ill educated, & idiots, yet promote the same. I agree,"killing is not care', but no one wants to actually do the care. Truth be known the bottom line is most family won't even visit if the person hasn't had a bath. Not surprising though as there is no care for the carers, either. It sounds great on paper but the bottom line is it's far removed from reality. ( -My mom used to call them 'talking heads'. ) I am very sorry you are going through this. :(

And the physical is on top of anything else.

Same for me with uselessness of PT and diet. The pain is frequently so great I could pass out.

Remember laughter releases opiods. :) (And thanks to those for the giggles above, :) :hug: )

Love and pulling for you, xox. hang in there, :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

ETA, one thought however; the bottom line is a financial one, if your care can produce $.. maybe taking part in a clinical trial?

You see, out here they want to privatize, as there's so much money to be made (& I would not be surprised at all if there's stake in holdings people needing care are referred to- many are run by U.S. companies. That's not as much my opinion as what is occurring- they talk of no staff/ $ wasted while workers sit 'in house' paid and waiting for work, aka, 'the system failed explanation" - it failed because they want it to fail. Even Phys. Ass'td Death is projected to save after cost ~134-139 million $, annually, without increasing the definition of who qualifies, which is under review).

 

[Deleted member 541]

@ladee @Junebug Thank you both, and everyone that has responded in this thread. I'm so appreciative of everyone's advice and suggestions.

I just looked up clinical trials in my area... NONE!!! Not surprising, we don't even have enough Dr's in this area, we have a severe shortage of them. That's why I actually stick with the Nurse Practioner that I have, because to get another Dr would take me months and months. I've actually never seen my Primary Care Dr, wouldn't know what she looked like if I fell over her. In this area, we might have 1 or 2 drs in the clinic, and 6-7 nurse practitioners that work under the drs. The nurse practitioners are addressed by their first name, but when a script goes in or whenever a referral is made, they are called your primary Dr. Just makes me want to bang my head on the f*cking wall...:banghead::banghead:

I've decided to make some changes to my diet. Nothing big, and this will be a long process of changing it. I'm not going to overwhelm myself with yet one more thing to add stress. I just can't do it. So, I've added some of the things on the list that are good for me. I will try to eliminate some of the bad over time. I may nerver get it totally, and I may fail, but I will try!!!,

I'm also going to go to the store today and buy some exercise equipment. Maybe some light weights, or the tubing. Not sure, but I will look and try to make a decision. I told the chiropractor yesterday when he said I was a work dog, and need to equal that out with exercise, that when I got home from work I am so exhausted and I hurt so bad that it's difficult to do anything... Again, I will try!!!!

Getting old f*cking sucks as it is, but getting old and having your mind and body litterly falling apart and being in pain, is inhumane. IMO!!! We put animals down when they are in bad shape... Do I need to make an appointment with my local vet?????? f*ck!!!!!