Living on disability

[EmmaOwl]

I try to be creative. It's nobody's business where my money comes from.

It's true you don't owe anyone an explanation. I say different things according to the situation and according to my own comfort level. Lately I've been saying that I'm "between things" which is certainly no lie!

Other possibilities include: "I'm looking to get back to school [or work, etc]". Also not a lie. I might even say "Things have been a little rough" and people kind of nod and, in my experience, they don't inquire further. You could go so far as to say, "You know, I haven't been really well." With a little shrug. "Things have been quiet." That is another one where people will probably not push it. They can assume what they want - family problems, physical illness, whatever. The economy. Vague is good.

 

[don't say it]

Yes, don't tell anyone. I can't tell you the trouble I have bought on myself by saying things I don't need to. It's a kind of self harm. (it's not a kind of self harm it IS self harm) People look for you to tell them things they can use against you, and in some instances this is predatory behavior. I am much better now and really do not present as disabled at all. If anyone ever asked me about how I live, I'd say I/we provide around the clock care for my two disabled daughters, so I am actually working but I just don't tell anyone in general.

I used to say "I always tell the truth" which was sort of true but I really used this to destroy myself I can't tell you how much I suffered at my own hands because of it. This is probably a bad example but anyone who's been married for any length of time will tell you there are just some things you spouse does NOT need to know. lol! I used to think this was lying by omission or keeping things from them but really, all it is, is having the brains not to shoot yourself in the foot lol! Especially years later when I found my spouse was keeping plenty of things from me! (because they didn't want to listen to me, rightly so)

 

[EmmaOwl]

I'm so sorry that you were forced on meds as a kid, happened to me too.

My mother was hospitalized and forced into electro-convulsive therapy against her will, during what would now be called "tween" years. In fact, she got very upset when I chose an ECT program....but there's simply no comparison between the procedures that I went through, vs what she got 50 years ago!. While it has the same name, it's pretty much a whole new procedure by now, and I know there are people still working to fine-tune some things, and customize procedures depending on the person, and the desired outcome. My memory was screwed up a bit, I think, but it was screwed up from depression and PTSD and the meds used to treat those illnesses. So I accepted that possible side effect. And this was ten years ago; I can only imagine they've learned to pinpoint treatments even more efficiently these days.

For me, it was worth it as it snapped me out of the second-worst depression in my life. I know my mother sees that, but ... I mean, the impression I get is that she was tied down, awake, both sides, much less controlled. My mother is rather close-mouthed about this... understandably so.
I've certainly had horrifying hospital stays but I was an adult and checked in for my own safety. And the ECT was a real choice on my part.

only support for what you are going through. PTSD is maddening and the disconnect between mind and body is so baffling.

Maddening and baffling just about covers it.

I used to say "I always tell the truth" which was sort of true but I really used this to destroy myself

I say "I always tell the truth to one person": my longtime therapist, and that's that. I prefer straight-out truth, too.. but I think that a little obfuscation can be called for in a lot of day to day activities and encounters with others. But only as long as you're not deceiving yourself. I'm glad you realized that it had a negative impact and can try to watch out for yourself, and try to treat yourself a little bit better.

I've got no wise words either - personal experience and support is all I have to offer anyone here.