Loneliness

[Ukoj]

I feel really alone.
I am married, for now, but I'm sure that status will be changing. He has left me a couple times already.

Over the last month, I have made two male friends. I have not had sex with either one.
The 1st one, I'm still in contact with.
We spent a day hanging out, we told each other our lives stories. But by the end of the day, there was not much there.
The other guy I met at 1:30am in a bar. He is now 2k miles away, so not much chance of seeing him again.
We kissed and stuff, but I didn't have sex with him.
I wanted to so badly.
(I realized, I wanted to be with someone else, for the 1st time in 15 years) talk about a buzz kill, crying in bed with a stranger.

I know I'm reaching out because I'm lonely, and I'm being stupid about it, but it is what it is. I am craving someone to care about me, or at least pretend to for a minute.

I just need to get this out, I can't post to my diary.

 

[Edof]

Are you a sufferer or a supporter?

 

[Ukoj]

I have PTSD.

 

[Sibu]

It sounds to me like you are being a human being and as human being we have needs. We have emotional, intellectual and of course physical needs. That includes touching, hugging and sex.

I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of at all. We need to be cared about and it's natural to seek out affection regardless of present circumstances. I'm sorry your marriage is in a rocky spot and that your needs aren't being met there. I hope you can work up the courage to talk to your spouse. It's a hard thing to do but so very worth it even if he does leave. With talking things through you can move on to taking care of yourself if you can feel like you've said your feelings.

Good luck I hope you are able to find some solace.

 

[Ukoj]

T

It sounds to me like you are being a human being and as human being we have needs. We have emotional, intellectual and of...

Thank you, I'm not really proud of my actions, however I need to distance myself from my husband. If there is distance I'm hoping it won't hurt so badly when it ends.