Looking For Advice...

[Deleted member 12723]

I sure wish that you did not have to go to this family therapy. I am so sorry about losing your brother. I understand that you have every right to grieve the way you want to without interference from your father.

I wish that you did not have to go, it sounds very hard and complicated. You mentioned having some distance from your father and I am so sorry that you have to choose this in spite of how you feel being in mourning right now.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Sorry to hear about your brother. It is a very painful and confusing time for the family, I know. But, if you are in fear of being triggered by these therapy sessions, don't attend them. I wouldn't.

 

[The Albatross]

Typical behavior for a narcissist... shift their issue onto the scapegoat. You have done a good job exploring the reasons why this is beneficial for your father but not for you. If you feel "forced"... I would voice this in the therapy session as well as "I seem to be able to grieve quite normally".

Dragon fly, I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Dragonfly-Dawn]

Thank you everyone.

@gizmo, @Whispering_Truth, @The Albatross.

I can not fully express how much it means to me to have a safe place where I can turn to.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
Emily Dickinson

:hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

If you are religious, pray for your father. Pray blessings and happiness over him. He cannot control what you pray, so you can as well pray that his narcisism is overcome by the therapy. Oh, and most importantly, so sorry to hear about your brother, may he rest in peace. (And yes, I agree that you have every right to grieve his loss to yourself).

 

[KitKaplan]

I did family therapy 35 years ago because of my addictions. I dont know if it helped my mother, sister or brogher. But it really helped me. My dad refused to come though he was the major problem. I am now 35 years sober because of the therapy. You can commit to a number of sessions and see how it goes. You can always quit

 

[void]

Ok so my brother passed away very recently and very unexpectedly.

Life can change in a heart bea...

My condolences.:(

If it were me, I would not be his narcissistic supply.
I would decline to participate and would feel no need to justify my decision to him or anyone else.
He is not going to do any internal work, it is a sham.
Do not support his deceit.

It is wrong for him to place you in this position and I would not stand for it.....full stop.
Be well.

 

[Matthew Barret]

I understand it.