ConcernedMotherof3
New Here
Hello everyone. I am a single mother of three children. Dear daughter is 12, two boys that are 8 and 10. Their father and I were married for 13 Years and he has had his current girlfriend on and off for 2 and a half years. Our custody is week on and week off as I did not want to hold the mental abuse he caused towards me against him and felt it important for him to be able to have a relationship with all three children.
My ex and oldest always had the most connected relationship prior to our split. Since my ex met his current girlfriend, the girlfriend has consistently placed a barrier between my ex and my oldest. From what my children tell me, she treats my daughter like Cinderella and the youngest one is treated like he is pure gold and can do no wrong. My middle child is not treated one way or the other but he absolutely hates seeing his siblings treated so differently. The father seems to only want to believe what his girlfriend says and what the children says is invalid unless its something he thinks he can use against me in court to get out of paying child support.
My daughter has been asking me for close to two years now if she can speak with the judge so she can live with me full time. A year ago she told her father she no longer wanted to live with him. I picked her up took her home and pulled out every picture of every great memory she had with her father. I wanted her to remember that she does love him very much. She wrote him a letter at that time explaining how she felt and that she does loves him but wants him to listen to her concerns rather than always taking the girlfriend's side. At that time he told me to send her back to him the way the parenting agreement was stated and told me he would work on things between his daughter and girlfriend to no avail.
Now each week that my daughter is there I get a text message from my daughter telling me how much she hates it there. The girlfriend recently went on a tangent and snatched my daughter's phone from her hand bc my daughter accidently sat a hat on a cupcake but the girlfriend told my ex she had the phone because an adult was using hers. She only takes my daughters phone to see what my child sends me and the ex has told my daughter that because she has said anything to me about what goes on that he will no longer do anything for her, that she is not invited to his wedding and the dress that was purchased for her for the wedding will be taken back.
The girlfriend told all of my children that she will turn my daughter's room into a nursery for her upcoming child (when the ex was not there to hear). My youngest is the one that told me this. When there is a school function for my oldest he will not take her. She used to be daddy's pride and joy and now it seems that all of the manipulation he put me through while we were together he is now doing to my daughter because she reminds him so much of me and he chooses to be mean and hateful to both of us because his girlfriend does not want him to have any contact with me.
She actually told me and him that we have no reason to communicate other than about child support. We have three children together and every time she leaves I am the first one he calls for help or support or to talk to. I can't take it no more and my children shouldn't have to either. Now I am trying to figure out the best and safest way to get this situation under control and no more hurt and pain brought to my children. If anyone can give me some advice on where to start I would greatly appreciate it. I am in North Carolina and the laws here seem not to be worth a darn to help people unless you pay out the butt for an attorney every time you turn around.
I am sorry this is so long. I just really need some advice on where to go for help. Thank you in advance for anyone that takes the time to read all of this.
My ex and oldest always had the most connected relationship prior to our split. Since my ex met his current girlfriend, the girlfriend has consistently placed a barrier between my ex and my oldest. From what my children tell me, she treats my daughter like Cinderella and the youngest one is treated like he is pure gold and can do no wrong. My middle child is not treated one way or the other but he absolutely hates seeing his siblings treated so differently. The father seems to only want to believe what his girlfriend says and what the children says is invalid unless its something he thinks he can use against me in court to get out of paying child support.
My daughter has been asking me for close to two years now if she can speak with the judge so she can live with me full time. A year ago she told her father she no longer wanted to live with him. I picked her up took her home and pulled out every picture of every great memory she had with her father. I wanted her to remember that she does love him very much. She wrote him a letter at that time explaining how she felt and that she does loves him but wants him to listen to her concerns rather than always taking the girlfriend's side. At that time he told me to send her back to him the way the parenting agreement was stated and told me he would work on things between his daughter and girlfriend to no avail.
Now each week that my daughter is there I get a text message from my daughter telling me how much she hates it there. The girlfriend recently went on a tangent and snatched my daughter's phone from her hand bc my daughter accidently sat a hat on a cupcake but the girlfriend told my ex she had the phone because an adult was using hers. She only takes my daughters phone to see what my child sends me and the ex has told my daughter that because she has said anything to me about what goes on that he will no longer do anything for her, that she is not invited to his wedding and the dress that was purchased for her for the wedding will be taken back.
The girlfriend told all of my children that she will turn my daughter's room into a nursery for her upcoming child (when the ex was not there to hear). My youngest is the one that told me this. When there is a school function for my oldest he will not take her. She used to be daddy's pride and joy and now it seems that all of the manipulation he put me through while we were together he is now doing to my daughter because she reminds him so much of me and he chooses to be mean and hateful to both of us because his girlfriend does not want him to have any contact with me.
She actually told me and him that we have no reason to communicate other than about child support. We have three children together and every time she leaves I am the first one he calls for help or support or to talk to. I can't take it no more and my children shouldn't have to either. Now I am trying to figure out the best and safest way to get this situation under control and no more hurt and pain brought to my children. If anyone can give me some advice on where to start I would greatly appreciate it. I am in North Carolina and the laws here seem not to be worth a darn to help people unless you pay out the butt for an attorney every time you turn around.
I am sorry this is so long. I just really need some advice on where to go for help. Thank you in advance for anyone that takes the time to read all of this.
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