Sufferer Looking For Myself

[Samyd66]

I know what, where, and why..yet I am frozen - I have been abused, molested, shot at, hit over the head with a shotgun, was in a devastating car accident, and have a spinal cord injury. How does one recover from all that?? - I've been trying, but it's a struggle.

 

[AqueousAndroid]

I cannot relate to you on the particular types of trauma you have endured, and perhaps am not the greatest example since I am also recovering...but I don't think there's a simple fix to what you're feeling. I can't say what will help you recover from all the things you have mentioned...for me it has helped immensely writing out all of my feelings and getting feedback. Though it doesn't seem like it initially, it also seems helpful to tell the people around me that I am struggling (this part is so hard for me!). I have recently made friends who seem to really give a darn about my emotional welfare, and they truly make efforts to keep me involved in activities.

I'm sorry if that got really rambly, but I just wanted to give you some feedback on what has been helping me out recently. Keep working at it, I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[Samyd66]

Thank you. Emotionally I am numb. I am getting treatment, but I am struggling. I came here as an effort to heal. I am not looking for sympathy, as you probably know... I don't even know why I just said that, but that's part of who I am. I am conflicted with myself. Part of me wants to be left alone, and another part can't stand it. I've thrown so much away. I'd like to continue with what I have to say, it helps. I have a problem and I can't/don't want to share it with those who know me. I can on and on.
Thank you again - maybe if it's ok, I can continue at a later time?
Kind regards,
Sam

 

[AqueousAndroid]

Whatever works for you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

 

[Samyd66]

Thanks again. Two weeks ago I tried to kill myself. I ended up in the hospital. It was a wake up call for me, but I am still struggling. I've done so much to try and heal. It's just not enough. Now I am trying to dig deeper. I am not ashamed of what I am dealing with, but I am ashamed of what I can't do.

I will and want to keep writing - but I am going to take a break. I hope you don't mind. I'll be back. I am safe. I am not going back, I won't hurt myself. I want to tell more. It will be the first time I can truly share my thoughts and actions.

 

[AqueousAndroid]

Keep it up at your own pace. What you're doing is healthy and I applaud you. :hug:

 

[intothelight]

Hi Sam,

Welcome to the forum!

Participate as you need to, and I hope you find the support here helpful.

Debbie