Sufferer Looking For Support- Former Contractor In Combat Zones

[Horizon55]

Looking for support. I'm 30, recently retired from independent contractor work due to being hurt and attempting to start a family - high intensity combat work in many countries for 5+ years. Also before that prior law enforcement work in high crime metro area. Although my assignments slowed down few years ago.

Started drinking alcohol a lot to eliminate visions and memories. Having a hard time coping, affecting my life, family, I have a daughter, etc.

Gone to the point of hospitilazation due to alcohol poisoning, (on ventilator, unresponsive for 3 days.. total stay ~3weeks). I need a point in the right direction.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Plenty of information and support to help you find your way.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Horizon,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

You made a really good decision to change your profession to a less stressful line of work, but it is also critical that you deal with any addiction or discontinue negative coping mechanisms. To recover is really hard work and it requires a lot of mental energy. There is a lot of information about therapy here and the various types.

I hope you find this forum and the support here helpful.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Horizon55]

Thanks guys for the response. Again, retired and trying to relax.

I actually live in the Philippines now, had to get away. It's been difficult. I tried to talk to my girl on a serious basis the other week (as I have always been quiet about everything), and she looked at me and said I always have a blank stare. I looked at her and asked if she ever looked into someones eyes as they died, and she responded.."well not really"... and when I went on to say " And looking into their eyes knowing you killed them.." she kinda blanked out like visually, mentally, verbally. Never seen that before on her.

That's the crap I'm talking about, need to talk to people that understand.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)