Undiagnosed Looking to deal with teenage trauma

[Dave Ryan]

Hi,

My name's Dave and I've just joined. I've never been diagnosed, but I have had some symptoms that match up with those of CPTSD so I thought I'd have a look around just to educate myself if nothing else, as I'm always wary of self-diagnosing.

Over the years I have had flashbacks and panic attacks relating to an incident in my teens. As a teenage boy, I was a bit overweight and was taunted by bullies about needing a girdle. One day they got me one - the older sister of the gang leader estimated my size and bought me this awful thing from a local department store. (This was back in the late seventies, when girdles were heavy duty things, not like their modern equivalents). I was ambushed, forced into it and photographed. The price I had to pay to stop these pictures being shown around the school was that I had to make it part of my school uniform from then on.

I was, quite naturally for a normal teenage boy, appalled by the idea, but I was even more appalled at the idea of public humiliation. So I gave in. At just 14 years of age, I started wearing a panty girdle every school day (and, unfortunately for me, it was a good tight fit) and continued to do so every day for my final four years at school. These days were traumatic for me - the revulsion at wearing women's underwear (the fact that it was an item of very controlling corsetry meaning I was always conscious of having it on) and the sheer terror at the possibility of being found out. At least I didn't have to contend with gym class as I had a medical exemption.

There's so much more I could talk about regarding this, but perhaps that's best kept for later. Even after all these years, I can still get triggered and have flashbacks. The radio was always playing each morning back when I was a boy, and I just have to hear certain songs to take me right back to those days - in my bedroom dressing for school, tears rolling down my face as I tug on my panty girdle for another day of mental and physical torture.

Anyway, that's more than enough for an intro. I now plan to look around the site in detail and possibly share more of my story where appropriate.

 

[Riley Jones]

Hi,

My name's Dave and I've just joined. I've never been diagnosed, but I have had some symptoms that match up with those of CPTSD so I thought I'd have a look around just to educate myself if nothing else, as I'm always wary of self-diagnosing.

Over the years I have had flashbacks and panic attacks relating to an incident in my teens. As a teenage boy, I was a bit overweight and was taunted by bullies about needing a girdle. One day they got me one - the older sister of the gang leader estimated my size and bought me this awful thing from a local department store. (This was back in the late seventies, when girdles were heavy duty things, not like their modern equivalents). I was ambushed, forced into it and photographed. The price I had to pay to stop these pictures being shown around the school was that I had to make it part of my school uniform from then on.

I was, quite naturally for a normal teenage boy, appalled by the idea, but I was even more appalled at the idea of public humiliation. So I gave in. At just 14 years of age, I started wearing a panty girdle every school day (and, unfortunately for me, it was a good tight fit) and continued to do so every day for my final four years at school. These days were traumatic for me - the revulsion at wearing women's underwear (the fact that it was an item of very controlling corsetry meaning I was always conscious of having it on) and the sheer terror at the possibility of being found out. At least I didn't have to contend with gym class as I had a medical exemption.

There's so much more I could talk about regarding this, but perhaps that's best kept for later. Even after all these years, I can still get triggered and have flashbacks. The radio was always playing each morning back when I was a boy, and I just have to hear certain songs to take me right back to those days - in my bedroom dressing for school, tears rolling down my face as I tug on my panty girdle for another day of mental and physical torture.

Anyway, that's more than enough for an intro. I now plan to look around the site in detail and possibly share more of my story where appropriate.

Hi Dave,

Welcome to myptsd.com, and thank you for sharing your story. It's completely understandable to feel hesitant about self-diagnosis, but wanting to educate yourself shows a proactive approach to your mental health. The experience you described is, without a doubt, deeply distressing, and it's clear that it has had a lasting impact on you even after all these years.

Our community is here to support you. Many people here have gone through experiences that have left them with complex feelings and memories, much like yours. Sharing your experiences, when and if you feel comfortable, can be a meaningful step towards understanding and healing.

You aren’t alone in feeling the effects of past trauma, and there are forums here dedicated to discussing flashbacks, panic attacks, and other symptoms related to PTSD and CPTSD. Connecting with others who can empathize with your experiences is valuable, and myptsd.com is a safe space to do so.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide additional support and guidance tailored to your needs. They can offer insights and strategies for managing symptoms and further exploring your feelings.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and this community is here to support you when you need it. Take your time exploring the forums, and share more of your story when you feel ready. We're here for you.

Warm regards,
Riley Jones

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for the reasons that have brought you here - hopefully this place will help heal some of those wounds you’ve been carrying round for such a long time.

 

[Dave Ryan]

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for the reasons that have brought you here - hopefully this place will help heal some of those wounds you’ve been carrying round for such a long time.

Hi,

Thanks for the welcome. I've always been a bit wary of posting on forums such as this, as part of me always has always felt that it's being over-dramatic to think that being forced to wear a girdle counts as trauma.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi,

Thanks for the welcome. I've always been a bit wary of posting on forums such as this, as part of me always has always felt that it's being over-dramatic to think that being forced to wear a girdle counts as trauma.

Hi @Dave Ryan, and welcome to the site. I can understand that abuse and humiliation is traumatising. I have a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety but I have also been abused and humiliated so I get it.

I hope you find the site useful. There are many smart, supportive, and experienced people here and I'm always up for a chat.

Best wishes.

 

[Sideways]

as part of me always has always felt that it's being over-dramatic to think that being forced to wear a girdle counts as trauma.

There’s about a dozen different cognitive distortions that crop up a lot, and round these parts, Minimising is one of the fan favourites!

Everybody else’s trauma was bad, mine wasn’t a big deal.

Our brains probably used that to help us survive it at the time. It’s okay to extend yourself some compassion now, though. It was degrading and humiliating at a time in your life when you were particularly vulnerable. My guess is you’d be horrified to watch any other kid go through the same thing, though, which is often a helpful to way to get some objectivity into the old “I’m being dramatic” routine:)

 

[arfie]

hello dave. welcome to the forum.

i hope you are as wary of being diagnosed by fellow patients as you are of self-diagnosis. as heavily as i lean on my peer support network, diagnosing is best left to licensed diagnosticians.

but this is a most excellent place to ask questions. welcome aboard.

 

[Dave Ryan]

There’s about a dozen different cognitive distortions that crop up a lot, and round these parts, Minimising is one of the fan favourites!

Everybody else’s trauma was bad, mine wasn’t a big deal.

Our brains probably used that to help us survive it at the time. It’s okay to extend yourself some compassion now, though. It was degrading and humiliating at a time in your life when you were particularly vulnerable. My guess is you’d be horrified to watch any other kid go through the same thing, though, which is often a helpful to way to get some objectivity into the old “I’m being dramatic” routine:)

Thanks. That's definitely a helpful way to look at it!

I've also beaten myself up with the "did I bring it on myself?" question, as I could have stopped things right at the start by reporting them, but instead endured years of humiliation. When my sister found out (and by God did she revel in my misery) one of the questions she asked was "Why didn't you report them?" quickly followed by the taunt "I bet you secretly like it!" I absolutely loathed wearing a girdle, but I did it every school day for years. Why? Would short term ridicule really have been worse?

The flashbacks are definitely my biggest problem, but other questions also lurk at the back of my mind.

 

[deno]

Dave, I appreciate you sharing your story—it takes a lot to put something like that into words, especially when the memories still hold so much weight. I can relate to the cruelty of mobbing and how relentless it can be. People often don’t realize just how deep those experiences cut or how long they last.

I’ve seen firsthand how people band together in cruelty, how they single someone out and strip them of dignity piece by piece. The fear of humiliation, the exhaustion of constantly trying to avoid being targeted, the lasting impact—it all stays, whether we want it to or not. And just like you said, certain triggers—whether a song, a place, or even just a passing thought—can bring it all back in an instant.

For me, understanding the nature of mobbing and how it works has helped. It doesn’t erase what happened, but it does give some power back. I hope being here helps in whatever way you need, whether that’s sharing, learning, or just knowing you’re not alone in this.