Losing Friends

[nomedic1]

I seem to have this incredible ability to drive away friends, I start off ok but I think I either push to hard or come across as a defeatist asshole after a while. I guess what I am saying is, what can I do? Any ideas?

 

[Flyaway]

Hi, maybe work on Maslows hierarchy for a while. Basic needs have to be met before you can build up psychological (ie. friends). Also, maybe find friends that can share a hobby - so when your having rough (asshole) days you can just focus more on the activity and it won't strain the relationship so much.

 

[Court]

Nomedic1 I am sorry you feel that way. I have seen my loved one(I don't know what to call him politely) have this problem and honestly I think nobody truly understands him. He is a special ops combat medic on top of his true MOS and has seen stuff he will never get over and he has days where is this way.

I know who he can be and have researched a lot but people who don't understand him have called him an ass-hole or jerk and blow him off. I know it bothers him especially right now being deployed and he refers to his team mates in not nice words because they don't get him.

I hope you can find friends who can accept you for you good and bad. I have trust issues and I know when a friend acts shady I close off or become a you know what and end up with no friends.

You have offered so many pieces of advice which shows many of us you are a caring person and I hope you can find others that admire you for you!!!
Court

 

[Hashi]

Push too hard in what way? Push for what?

Defeatist about what?

What are your expectations of friends?

What do you think are their expectations of friends?

I think the starting point is pinning down exactly what happens, exactly what it is you think you're doing that's offputting, and why (why you do it with friends, and why they might find it offputting.) I wouldn't assume those answers are obvious because of PTSD. I'd suggest describing what's going on in more detail, to understand it better.

 

[nomedic1]

Thanks for the advice guys, I guess it will help for next time, I drove them away not taking into account their PTSD. I just hope the achieve everything I wished for them

 

[nomedic1]

I think this person was more of a friend to me as I was to them, they help me achieve something even though it was triggering them.

 

[discarded]

I think you should be so proud of the fact that you accept your situation and are doing your best to be thoughtful of others and improve your life. It sure can't be easy but at least you haven't stuck in your head in the sand and decided to give up on life and slowly drink yourself to death.

My hat goes off to all you sufferers who are prepared to get help.