Losing The Spark?

[just me here]

I lost my parents and extended family to a religion. The differance between cult and religion is so fine a line. Always remember and never forget, the bible you put your hand on and swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth is the same bible issued to german soldiers in ww2.

I had a doctor tell me he doesn't beleive in religion, but he beleives in being religious. He sees a happiness in people that have a strong beleif thats not there in people that don't have religion. If they need direction to be happy, I guess I am glad someone steers them around.

I will follow my own moral compass, I won't do harm to anyone because it isnt the right thing to do

I have a real fear of people that do harm because they think those that don't beleive the same way they do need prodding and deserve pain.

Being excommunicated by family members is a horrible wrong, but they see it as the right(eous) thing to do.

I kind of want to go to the church, announce that I have sold my soul to the devil, and hope that from now on when they see my truck at a restaraunt, they will go somewhere else for lunch. maybe if I am bad enough to earn complete excommunication, they won't call me when they need their couch moved anymore.

 

[Teddy]

Well I have been looking for my sparkle and no matter what I think it must be hidden either under flood water, mud, or something as no matter what, mine has packed up shop and gone without me.
I don't have a religion. And when asked if I do I just say I am a christian. I believe in god and Jesus but I think the free will part has taken over too much.
I don't even know if I want to find my sparkle any more anyway.
It sounds to damn hard.....