Lost Another Job. Yay! :(

[Melody coates]

So that makes 4 job loses in a row. None of them have lasted more that a month. This company is a transdiciplinary clinic that treats learning disabilities. The director is a neuropsycologist so I thought this job would be good for me. I was wrong. The main reason I'm being let go is lack of work to be done(at least that's what I'm being told) Its a slow pased office and there's not a big enough work load or client intake for two people in the front office. But the office manager did say she didn't like how she had to constantly repeat the simplest things to me and how I didn't open up to the rest of the staff. Concentration and socializing are big issues for me that have been effecting my work performance. Can't engage in any convos going on and I feel so out of synch with everyone and I can't remember the simplest instructions. Ugh!

 

[Friday]

There's a reason why I call my first series of jobs when going back to work after being in either a tailspin, or hard cycle, "burner jobs".

For myself, I've learned to generally stay in gig-type-work & high turnover fields for the first year or two... Especially if I've dropped down to the homeless level of non-functioning in society. I usually hit restaurants, theatre/circus/shows, NGO, freelance, sailing, etc. Things I don't want to be doing long term, that last a few weeks to a few months from the get go, or that I only expect to last a few weeks to few months in. Present & past, it's as much a part of retraining my brain to be working again, as it is not to be responding 0-90 to stressors and triggers.

Sigh. I've actually turned down 2 jobs I want this year -badly- just so that I don't burn bridges in a field I actually want to be in while I'm all extra-f*cked-up.

I sometimes doubt I'll ever be able to work-work again, and seriously beat the hell out of myself. But I've come through 1 major tailspin, and a few down cycles already... And each time I have come around. Eventually. I'm in the burner-job thing again right now. In fact, part of the reason (only part, but a big part) of why I'm seriously dragging my feet over renting a place, is that I'm still in it. I can only care sometimes, and I can only perform / show I care somewhat less often than that. Renting a place means needing to care consistently enough to both work enough to make rent, and to not simply walk away from my left when I get stressed out.

If you're anything like me? You'll come around, too. But it takes time.

 

[Deleted member 31998]

I'm so sorry to hear about this loss - It sounded like a good gig for the time being. With the lack of social communication I can relate to though; that in itself causes people to typically single me out even though I'm known for being really genuine, caring and real. It's such a dog eat dog aspect, it can be rather challenging for people to truly understand that you have your own battles, especially in sales and retail where it generally attracts the loud and outgoing people.