I_will_recover
Bronze Member
I have not abandoned my friends, they have abandoned me. My bestest friend came to see me a day after being hospitalized after my suicide attempt. The purpose of the visit was to tell me she couldn't be friends with me because it was "upsetting to see me like this". After I was a raped a year later two of my closest friends simply stop contacting me. Both had been assaulted as children like myself ( it was one of the things that brought us together). I say to myself my trauma likely triggered old feelings for them but I don't know that for sure. My male friends simply cannot deal with my rape and don't/can't acknowledge it. I say to myself they're uncomfortable but I don't know for sure. What I do know for sure is I have no real friends. None. Only "friends" who don't know about my rape & complex ptsd (I was also sexual abused (4/5 to 8/9 years old)). I'm scared to tell them for fear they may abandon me as well. My trauma is part of who I am and I want to be able to talk with a friend. Not dump my problems on them just know. I not pushing them away - I promise. They leave me. Everyone leaves.
