Love And Intimacy

[saffy]

I know what love is, I just never seem to get it. I miss my dog, only person to ever love me. I think its everyone else that doesnt know what love is, not me.

Good point Loner.

Yes I have dogs and animals too. I like the unconditional love we can give each other. IF I am having a shit day then I still get a cuddle ;)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[saffy]

I have also experienced it, but now, I don't think I can receive or even really accept love because of the feeling of self-hatred.

Hi KatB

Do you think you do not deserve love then?


I am very confused about love so did a little research.

Here is a spiritual article: [DLMURL]http://omtimes.com/2012/08/what-do-we-expect-from-love/[/DLMURL]

and one from psychology today : [DLMURL]http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201111/what-is-love[/DLMURL]

It is worth reading and noticing the similarities in beliefs.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Discarded!

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

I lived twenty three years in a marriage where I only got answers when the other felt like it! It is so hurtful and lonely. I did get the dog and he is still great! Unconditional love. Great advice.

The other could not deal with his own issues and alcoholism. Look up the cup theory!. Looking back I think it was his isolation? I just did not know he was sick. I had the diagnosis? He thought he was perfect in every way.

I have been out for eight years and it still saddens me. But I never get the hand of silence that slaps at the wind. No one turns their back on me and walks away when I have something to say. That is not the way anyone should be treated!

I wish you happiness and peace on your journey to well being.

 

[raven123]

I'm 44 and never had a romantic relationship. I wonder if it is just no one wants me. :(

 

[discarded]

I'm 44 and never had a romantic relationship. I wonder if it is just no one wants me. :(

That is sad, you just haven't met the right person yet. On a positive note you have been spared the pain when things breakdown.

 

[therapybankrupt]

I'm 44 and never had a romantic relationship. I wonder if it is just no one wants me. :(

I hope you find your romance!

 

[raven123]

I hope you find your romance!

I'm beginning to think it never will happen. My abusers seemingly have stolen everything from me. :( I hate life.

 

[sorcha]

I cannot deal with love, I have no idea what it is outside me and my children. It scares me, I send men away, I am troubled and will be troublesome, so I tell them to delete me from their lives, seems to work. They have no idea I cannot sit in the same room as them without shaking.

 

[raven123]

I cannot deal with love, I have no idea what it is outside me and my children. It scares me, I send men away, I am troubled and will be troublesome, so I tell them to delete me from their lives, seems to work. They have no idea I cannot sit in the same room as them without shaking.

I'm sorry. If we deny love, we deny everything. I don't know what love is, don't think I've ever felt it, but I want it.

 

[stuff]

I've always been a pretty loving, caring person, but I am becoming more and more aware that there is something wrong. Everytime I meet someone that I seem to have reciprocal feelings of intimacy with, the other person freaks out, and tells me they can't and they don't understand why. No one can tell me what the problem is. It just keeps happening. They want to stay in my life and get deeper and deeper, but I am constantly denied any physical intimacy.

My T suggested that maybe I was splitting when things got physical, but I talked to a couple people who said that wasn't the case at all. The response on all counts was that "I was amazing." this has occurred about four times now.

I have basically given up the idea of having a romantic relationship. The only one i did have was long term and very abusive. I am working on ways to ensure I will be able to support myself in as many way as possible and hopefully plan some sort of long term life plan devoid of wanting a relationship. It's probably for the best I guess.

 

[sorcha]

My problems have been solved, my children have decided they don't want a 'man in the house' they are used to just me.....no dating for em... well if my children follow my advice (rules) 15 years, by that time I may have a hobby such a dominoes and ballroom dancing or whatever old people do together...