Chaoticmind
Bronze Member
Hi all. New here so I hope I am doing this correctly. Having some anxiety about an event I have coming up in May. Let me start with, I am a young adult I enjoy edm (electronic dance music) as the majority of my generation does. To make a very long story short, every year I go to a music festival in my town. Many known DJs preform and it's just a weekend of freedom and letting go of every day life responsibilities. Last year, I did something dumb and took some unknown substances. Right after I took it ,I felt ill. My "friends" left me to fend for myself. Luckily, an EMS that worked for the festival found me and brought me straight to an ambulance. I had a 104 fever, extremely high blood pressure, etc. I ended up overdosing and flatlined but luckily they revived me. This event changed my life forever because I truly thought I was going to die.
Fast forwadd to today. I have gone to a few local EDM events totally sober after this happened and felt a decent amount of anxiety. Now this fesitival is approaching again. I really want to go with a new group of friends and have fun and dance (totally sober) but the events that happened last year make me anxious. Every night before bed, flashbacks of me laying in the ER and my heart monitor flatlining occur, I see myself laying there practically dead. I can be thinking about something totally irreverent and these flashbacks always start. Then, when I think about going to this event in May, I feel my anxiety kick in. How do I go and have a good time and not let my panic and anxiety about my past kick in? I'm so torn on if I should even go to this event or not. I just feel so happy when at these events but now afraid I won't find happiness due to the amount of worrying I have.
Fast forwadd to today. I have gone to a few local EDM events totally sober after this happened and felt a decent amount of anxiety. Now this fesitival is approaching again. I really want to go with a new group of friends and have fun and dance (totally sober) but the events that happened last year make me anxious. Every night before bed, flashbacks of me laying in the ER and my heart monitor flatlining occur, I see myself laying there practically dead. I can be thinking about something totally irreverent and these flashbacks always start. Then, when I think about going to this event in May, I feel my anxiety kick in. How do I go and have a good time and not let my panic and anxiety about my past kick in? I'm so torn on if I should even go to this event or not. I just feel so happy when at these events but now afraid I won't find happiness due to the amount of worrying I have.
