Maladaptive daydreaming!

[Marvel545]

I need to get this off my chest.

I've daydreaming for as long as I can remember. I remember being in my football kit running up & down the drive for hours in various fantasy lands.

I daydream for hours EVERY, SINGLE, DAY. The exception is a roughly 60 day period when I come here. I think I've used this to deal with pretty much anything tough. I used this to deal with my Mom being ill, I used this to cope with trauma & not even blink. My Mom died & I barely got upset, same with my Grandad, same with my Dads abusive relationships. I've ended up so out of touch with my feelings & the real world.

I want to stop, but I don't know how. Other addictions actually seem really tame compared to this. Theres so much shame there, that I don't want to admit to the people closest to me.

Ive missed countless opportunities through daydreaming throughout my life. I need to tackle this, I need to run at it head on & beat it. I want a good life.

 

[somerandomguy]

There was a long, long thread about this:
Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

Hopefully it will help.

 

[grit]

I had this (from what I remembered) from 4th grade to my early 30s. Did not know what it was until I stopped.
I stopped because I recognized in pattern and also it was impacting my personal relationships - especially dating. I would meet a guy and within few days we had first fight, first make up, first travel, first move in, first baby, marriage, and break up and we have not even got on the 2nd date. Sounds crazy but yeah...I did that all my life and thought it was a normal thing. Who does not do this?

Turned out, most healthy people. I stopped because I was breaking up in my head more than real world.

Now what I know it was also the bff of dissociation and now that I stopped daydreaming until cows came home, I have come face to face with still junks of time just gone.

that is what worked for me motivation to improve relationships but not sure what could work for you specifically. have you brought this up in therapy (if you are in therapy). It is hard when this is used as coping mechanism in your difficult times so it may not exactly related to my situation but it is doable to get over it.

 

[Marvel545]

@grit I've brought it up, but my T seems reluctant to discuss it.

I'm looking on other sites & there are plenty of other people going through the same as what me & you have.

This is my number one coping mechanism & has been for as long as I can remember. It's not good. It wasted my school life & is continually causing havoc in my life.

The problem is that there are so many triggers. I've come off social media which really helps & I will meditate as soon as I get home.

 

[IamFree]

Relate to this a lot . When I was a child I could create all sorts of fantasy worlds to live in based on all sorts of things . its kind of waxed and waned at different times in my life. How it manifests in my relationships is I write stories...a beginning a middle and an end and constantly get dispointed as we have no way of knowing how any storys going to end and chances are it will not be the one you have written which is so perfect and sublime...that's what daydreaming and fantasy comes down to for me...its that I can create and control and have the world how I want it...when I come down to earth I just see all these awful things that have happened I have no control over its about not really wanting to be here ...but I am learning to believe there is something to be here for.