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Maternal alienation and estrangement pain

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mumstheword

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Any other mother suffering or have felt with this? I have such huge amounts of grief and pain over how my illness(es) and abuse from my children's father has impacted on my relationship(s) and/or lack of, with some and/or all of my children.

Such deep pain, echoes of the abandonment, rejection, abuse and neglect from my parent(s). Seven years on and I have worked hard to reengage with my young adult children, but it's still very hard, and this illness doesn't make it any easier.

I have parts in hiding, that are not safe at all to rejoin the fold of my self. My mother-self is deeply hurt, traumatized and dissociated, in part (I have seven children and the relationships are varied). I am waiting for my two youngest to return from being at their dad's for the weekend and I'm really struggling as I feel into my mother-self wounds.
Is anyone relating or feeling like they can offer any solace or guidance for me right now? I am waiting for the weekend to be over as I can book in for a first appointment (I hope) with a T who specializes in trauma, as I now have a Mental Health Plan and referral from a GP, but until then, I am really struggling.
 
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