May Have To Go Inpatient.

[OKRADLAK]

For those of you that know me, you've seen my attempts over the last couples months at treatment, socializing, job, etc........well, it's all collapsing again.

It begins with large stretches of no sleep. Then my food allergies go crazy. Then without food or sleep, well, I lose it.

Plus I went from not telling anyone anything at all about my life to spilling my guts like a seive.

I just started to tell stuff, no specifics, but trying to F ing connect!!! And of course, it does not connect you but lets people judge you! So I feel like I am naked and vulnerable, no sleep again, food off and I am spiralling again. it is because the first episode a few months back of practical mania was not treated. I need help again, treatment help. I

I am trying NOT to go to hospital because it's too hard. I can't eat that food and go crazy locked up. So I will be here a lot. I feel awful and worn out and crazy and vulnerable and SHAME and fear...............

 

[Lionheart]

It begins with large stretches of no sleep. Then my food allergies go crazy. Then without food or sleep, well, I lose it. Plus I went from not telling anyone anything at all about my life to spilling my guts like a sieve. So I feel like I am naked and vulnerable, I am trying NOT to go to hospital because it's too hard. I can't eat that food and go crazy locked up.

(((OKRADLAK))),

I think a stint as an inpatient could really help you, but barring that, I would see a doctor and get the sleep problems regulated, and I would address the food allergies as well. To my mind, not eating foods that you are allergic to and getting restful sleep will make the rest of the process easier.

It takes guts to allow oneself to be vulnerable and I think it is only natural that you feel naked or unprotected after disclosure. This will eventually pass as you finish the disclosure. Congratulations for taking such a large step in the right direction. People shouldn't judge you and if they do, they are idiots so don't pay any attention to them.

When I went inpatient (several times in the past), we had basic freedoms, so that it was not like being in jail. The food sucks, but since you have allergies they could probably place you on a special diet that would hopefully be better than most hospital food.

The first time I was inpatient, it was a suicide watch for 72 hours and it turned out to be a nice little vacation because it reduced the amount of stress I was getting from outside sources. Regardless of how you plan to handle this, I wish you only the best and hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

LH

 

[ISupportHer]

I hope you do whatever you see that you need to do. Can't say I know what it's like from a first hard perspective, but my wife has been in something like 15 times. So I kind of see how it is. If you feel you need inpatient to stay safe, it is my sincere hope you can find a way to do that.

ISH

 

[Complicated]

I am really sorry to hear that your are going through such a rough patch! I can identify with your situation, I also get very bad patches and not being able to eat or sleep makes the situation unbearable. I find what helps me in this situation is to eat small amounts of plain foods at regular intervals, full meals are overwhelming. I also find that if I watch nice light hearted movies or a tv series it helps to distract and calm me down (there are many internet sights available free of charge for this purpose so you dont even need to leave your house). If you need to go to inpatients again then go. At this stage you need to do what is best for you. I will be here for support! Sending you lots of hugs!

 

[The Albatross]

Supporting you and sending you hugs and well wishes. Aroma therapy and some sunshine? White noise to help you sleep? My mom uses waterfalls but I use ocean waves when I need to.

 

[Peacemaker]

I hope this does not sound cold, I do hear you, and I understand that pain in any form is an individual thing and it is real for the person experiencing it however, you need to learn to focus on someone else besides yourself, I know that this is not easy but, it is an excellent form of therapy. Try volunteering in your community, at the local school or hospital, at a nursing home, there are people who need you and you need them, you'll feel bigger and better for it!

 

[Kb3]

Best wishes Okradlak. I hope that you are able to feel better soon whether you go inpatient or not. I agree that it is so important to get your sleep issues under control - then you are at least able to turn the bad thoughts off for a period time and get some respite.

Please try not to worry about what other people think, very often it's not as bad as we think it is, but I know how hard this can be. In the past I have felt like a peeled boiled egg when I was having a bad patch - totally unprotected, completely vulnerable. The only thing that helped with it was meds, and boy was I happy for the relief.

I hope that you are able to get some relief soon too. (((((hugs))))).