May Not Be Around Much The Next 6/8 Weeks

[amethist]

Hi Grama-Herc

You take care of yourself, your mum is in good hands.

It's good your daughter will be there if you need her.

Best wishes to you all

Amethist

 

[cherryblossom]

Herc,
I hope your Mother makes a speedy recovery. I have faith in you that you will cope with this admirably.
Best wishes to you both,

Regards, CB

 

[Grama-Herc]

I am about to vent and it will include some not so nice things about nurses. SORRY BUT HERE GOES>

I knew I would not do well if I waited at the hospital for surgery to be over, so I came home to wait. Mother went in at 3 pm--or so I thought as that is when they took her.

I just called the nurses station assigned to her and asked to speak to her nurse. So the nurse gets on the phone, I introduce myself and ask if mother is back and settled in her room. This idiot(nurse) says to me, "AH, I don't know---let me go check"

EXCUSE ME? ? ? ? She is my mothers' nurse and she does not know if my mother has come back to her room?????????????????????????????????????????? How can a nurse be this clueless.

You guys would be proud of me, I simply said thank you, hung up and called the recovery room.

NOW I AM FREAKING OUT ! ! I am waiting until the 11 pm shift change to call and check again because this nurse is an idiot and will only upset me further!!!!!!!!!

I can tell this is going to be an interesting ride before it is all over.

Can't wait for the next issue of this story

 

[zoe]

Grama-Herc

I hope your mom is doing well.

Vent Away! There are some awesome nurses and there are some real idiots! Hopefully you will have fewer of the idiots!

Zoe

 

[Deleted member 541]

Herc,

Hang in there. I think I had most of the idiot nurses when I was in the hospital last week, so you shouldn't have many down there....

Hope that your mother is doing better. Take care of yourself.....

 

[Grama-Herc]

Update, mom came through surgery just fine---so far.

She is on Demerol and that makes her confused which is hard to take, but she is funny so it helps.

I am holding up surprisingly well. My frame of mind and emotions are still bottled up inside and I anticipate an eventual collapse but that is understandable and I have a couple of friends on standby in case that happens.

Trying to take care of myself by staying close to my regular schedule of sleeping, eating, etc.----even being here. Decided it would be helpful to continue my connection with the forum too.

But I am beginning to feel the stress in my neck and shoulders. No way to avoid it I fear, but I am still feeling fairly well.

 

[Mina]

Herc, I'm sorry to hear of your mom's injury and the trouble with the hospital staff, but glad she made it through the surgery well. And how awesome is that about your daughter offering to come!! :thumbs-up

You and your mom will both be in my prayers.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I fell apart! I mean I really FELL APART!

Today was not a good day. I went to visit mom and as I'm walking down the hall there is a nurse walking near me. She says to her aide, go check the blood pressure of the lady in room 345, bed 1 again.

I say excuse me, but that is my mother. What is wrong with her blood pressure. The nurse tells me they had to give her a transfusion. Nice way to start a visit.

She is more confused than yesterday and it is no longer funny. She thought I was my sister. I could not take it. She made me stand by the door because she was busy watching a baseball game and did not want me to interrupt her.

Logically, I know it was due to the Demerol, but it was just the catalyst I needed to push me over the emotional edge I have been teetering on over the past 3 days.

I had the worst panic/anxiety attack of my life. I was unable to breathe and then I was hyperventilating. Did not know I had tears that deep in my soul. I cried a cry I have never cried before. My soul came up from the depths of my being.

OMG I hurt. I don't know if I can bear this. Mother is MY ROCK! ! I'm not suppose to be hers. What in the hell am I suppose to do now. This apt is so GD empty and quiet. I have nothing to do, no one to talk to. I am so frickin lost and scared. How am I going to function? What the f*^k am I going to do? God Help me I am terrified.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Herc,

It's amazing. We can go from, handling things so well, being so calm and facing everything, to falling apart on the drop of a dime....

Remember, that we talked yesterday, and the reality of the possible outcome because of your mom's age, and what she has been through. This won't be easy for you, or her, but know that we are all here for you. Life is hard....

She is in good hands at the hospital, so try to be positive....

Fall apart when you need to, vent when you need to, and cry when you need to......

 

[goingonhope]

Herc, what chooses do you have other then to accept that when the ones we so love and care about are suffering, that we're going to suffer too.

These feelings are going to pass and you're quite capable of breathing through a good many preventative attacks; though some will simply catch us by surprise, and this is all ok. Please don't get down on yourself!

This is precisely where your courage will come in; Utilize it; You have what it takes and please keep honoring and permitting your self-care and worth, as this will allow you too, to be there for your Mom in this time of her need.

So it's time to breath and balance your actions, and breathe and balance, ......and breath some more, ......and love and care about each one of you, and practice breathing techniques in almost immediate response to signs of exhaustion, fear, worry, or dread. The beauty of breathing is that there doesn't have to be any set limitations on it, it can be done throughout the day.

Just don't do what I did yesterday evening. I walked off prior to some meeting I was to attend with my husband, looking for a cushion chair in the other room to breath and meditate upon. I found myself a couch and apparently in addition to practicing breathing and meditation, I fell asleep upon the couch. Woke up 4hrs. later, after midnight, with all the lights out in this church and the doors secured and security in place. Walked about 20+ feet when the whole church sounded over and over again: "You're in violation of trespassing, the police have been notified, please leave immediately." Omg, did conscious breathing ever rescue me through this waiting while someone showed up. (LOL)

Anyhow, hope this makes you smile some and please know these feelings will pass and sometiimes more readily with vents just as you've done.

Well done. And, keep on caring and loving.

Will be wishing the very best for your Mom's recovery.

Please take care, Herc.


Sincerely,
Hope

 

[BethRSA]

Grama!

We're here for you. :Hug_emoticon:

It's OK to "fall apart" especially under such stress. I'm glad that you could still tell us about it. That's good :thumbs-up Keep "talking" as we walk this road with you.

Love, prayers and happy thoughts you and your mom too.
Beth

 

[midi]

What a difficult time. Keep breathing! Don't be too hard on yourself, falling apart is OKAY. Like Hope says, everyone suffers when a loved one is going through this.