Meeting New Therapist Tomorrow And Really Anxious.

[Emily The Strange]

Hello all,

I have had a 6 month break from therapy and although the time to reflect and manage my emotions was great I really need the support of a therapist.

So tomorrow I begin a new chapter with a new therapist and I'm really freaking out. My last therapist was a lovely guy, we got on well and I felt comfortable telling him my darkest secrets but I could never get emotional with him. I'm not sure if its because he was a guy and I felt embarrassed about crying in front of him of if I was more about not letting him fully in. If I held some back then I would always have something that was still mine and always something that I could punish myself with so that it never went away. The therapist I am seeing tomorrow is a woman and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm anxious about meeting a new person but I can't seem to control my anxiety about her being a woman, I can't think of a reason for it either. There is no connection between my trauma and females and I don't even know anything about her so I really don't understand.

I am trying to recall some of the coping strategies my last therapist taught me but nothing seems to be working. I think I'm subconsciously stopping myself from coping, which of course is not helpful. I'm afraid I'll be like this, anxious and confused, until my appointment tomorrow and depending on how it goes much longer than that.

Any thoughts or advice?

 

[Spring]

Hi Emily,
I am currently going through an issue that relates a little to your situation.

I read your post and it gives me a little insight on what my sufferer may be going through. He just recently lost his therapist of three and a half years because the therapist had to relocate. My sufferer does see a new therapist. He recently went into a deep "episode" (as I refer to them) and he says that he can't seem to bring himself out of it. He has pushed me away, isolates himself, suffers from frequent anxiety attacks, and has recently gone on two dates with someone. \

He's told me in recent weeks that he misses me, loves me, and sends me text messages/pictures of things that he comes across that say "this reminds me of you". He says that this new person means nothing and that he just doesn't know how to cope anymore.

I'm hurting because of these things. If you have any insight, I would greatly appreciate it.
~Spring

 

[p-no]

Emily, can you give yourself permission to just be anxious? I mean, if the coping mechanisms do not work, can you release the energy you put into trying to and instead use the energy to let yourself be anxious? I do know (I have PTSD and have had it for life) that feeling anxious is nothing you'd want but since it's there, acceptance may be better for the time being. And maybe it is possible to focus on what REALLY needs to be done and what can be postponed until later (after meeting your new therapist), and then just do what is REALLY VITAL and do all you can to spoil yourself (e.g. hot bath, watch dvds/tv, listen to music, wrap yourself up in a blanket, cry, read, ...) and otherwise BE. Tomorrow will come...

I am saying all this because sometimes, if I'm very anxious about something (e.g. dentist's appointment in earlier PTSD years), that is all I could do and it helped me just get to that dreaded point in time as much in one piece as was possible at the time. Sometimes I had and sometimes I still have to not go against the tide, but go with the flow (tide and flow being my extreme anxiety) just to get it over with.

I am sorry if this does not help. It's all I have sometimes, when anxiety is really very bad. Spoil yourself as much as possible and let time pass, even if it's slow.

Hugs, if you accept them.

 

[71nothing]

I recently went through a therapist change due to relocation. I was fortunate enough to have a chance to meet with them both together to help with the transition yet my anxiety over it was very high anyway. After two weeks with the new therapist it's starting to improve again.

I agree with Prime-no above. You can't control it so just go with it. Sometimes trying to fix it just creates more anxiety. I also know its easier said than done! Good luck to you.

 

[Spring]

71, thank you for your post. It helps me understand my sufferer.