Meeting next week

[whiteraven]

For almost 6 months I've been trying to get resolution to a problem at work with re: to a hazardous cleaner that is being used in my area. It causes severe headaches, burning in my eyes, a cough, and sometimes closes off my throat when it's really bad. I've been told, by a number of people, that it'll be taken care of or they'll address it, or they will schedule a meeting about it. The building guy - who reminds me of one of my abusers and does his best to be as intimidating as possible - flat out told me he wasn't going to make any changes, but everybody else said they'd make sure they'd correct the issue.

So they are still using it and, even though I know differently, the building guy lied and said it was a "green" product and nothing to worry about. I finally said something about it again last night and a meeting got scheduled for next week (why we have to have a meeting about it I don't know).

I'm terrified to go to this meeting. It's going to be me and HR and the building guy and the director of our department. Meetings at this company are almost always designed to intimidate. And I don't really feel like I'm going to have an ally there. And...the building guy has already let me know a couple of times what he thinks of me and my concerns. Today, after I got the email about the meeting, I went in and talked with my manager about it, about how I thought it never should have gotten this far and how dismissive everyone had been of me and how I didn't think we should be having a meeting. She agreed, but I was still so upset and spent the rest of the evening upset and in tears.

So worried I'm not going to be able to keep it together in the meeting. I think part of the issue is that I really don't know why we're meeting. At this point, they could be in trouble if I reported them. I don't know why they don't just - like they did with the last crew - have them start a little later or on a different floor.

Everything is a fight. :-(

 

[Justmehere]

I went in and talked with my manager about it, about how I thought it never should have gotten this far and how dismissive everyone had been of me and how I didn't think we should be having a meeting. She agreed, but I was still so upset and spent the rest of the evening upset and in tears.

Can she come with you to the meeting?

 

[whiteraven]

Can she come with you to the meeting?

I thought about that. Maybe. I met with the director of our department yesterday (another long story) and brought this up. She isn't really sure why we're having the meeting either but seems to be on my side. I made it clear that I expect something to come out of this meeting whether I attend or not. She said that if I was uncomfortable, I didn't have to go.

I think I will likely go but I am going to write out a full statement beforehand so I am prepared. I'll feel less anxious that way.