Relationship Am I crazy for thinking this? BF broke up with me & new GF in a week

[CElaine]

my ex boyfriend has ptsd and dissociative episodes from it… I think he’s having a dissociative episode because he broke up with me out of nowhere and got a new girlfriend within a week. I can’t stop overthinking and I’m worried about him but I don’t know how to help him!!

Is this crazy for me to think?

 

[Friday]

I’m a fairly strong believer in the truism that “The best way over one man is under another.” Others believe in the divine Provence of Haagen Däs. Shrug. To each their own.

Sleeping with someone else, or dating someone else, CAN be a way to nail a coffin shut on a previous relationship, or it can be the first step in moving on from a previous relationship. No PTSD required. Just people being people.

So I’d personally take normal human behavior, as normal human behavior, rather than attempting to excuse or pathologize it.

 

[Movingforward10]

How long were you together for? I only ask because some people form relationships very quickly (i.e. Falling hard,fast) and then think that means they know the other person well when it takes a long time (in my opinion) to really know someone. So, unless you know him very very well and can see that this behaviour is very much at odds with how he has been before, then only then can you put it to a mental health issue.
Otherwise it's just the usual issue the some people are just rubbish. He might be one of those people no mental health problems required. Just annoying human being.

Either way, nothing you can do about it....other than looking after yourself.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Not every behavior is PTSD related. But even if it was, is this how you deserve to be treated? If it’s not ok for anybody else to treat you like this, it’s not OK for him to, just because he has PTSD.

 

[captain jigglypuff]

Something tells me that your ex probably was seeing his new gf behind your back for awhile. Literally no one bounces back from a breakup and form a new one with someone they’ve just met in under a week. He had to have known her for awhile because it’s highly unlikely that anyone would agree to a relationship with someone they barely know in a couple of days.

 

[ISupportHer]

First, I am sorry you are hurting. I do hear that in your post.

I have been thinking of your post as well as the next one in the supporter area.

I don't know you and am probably quite a bit older than you. So, I will respond as if you were my daughter or maybe even granddaughter.
Not "tough love" but perhaps not entirely what you want to hear. Offered with love.

I do not believe that bad behavior can receive a blanket pass due to PTSD. Of course, I can't say if his moving on is dissociative in origin. I have my doubts.

I hear you when you say you are worried. The bad news is that not all PTSD relationships survive. Often with no fault of the supporter. We, as supporters, cannot dictate the actions of the ones we love. PTSD or not. One of the hardest advice I heard here many years ago is that sometimes, if you REALLY love them, you have to let them go. They need to find their way and, as sad as it feels, that may be without us.

In spite of what I say here, have no doubt that you are loved and people here, and elsewhere, care about you. A quote from a kid's movie. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

I wish you peace.

ISH

 

[Friday]

Literally no one bounces back from a breakup and form a new one with someone they’ve just met in under a week.

When I was dating I rarely spent even a single night, alone. Much less a week.

It is incredibly common to cry into Hagen Das.

It’s ALSO incredibly common to throw a leg over. More common amongst men, than women; but men don’t just hold the land speed record, but also the endurance trials carrying a torch for yeeeeeears. So men tend to both get over quicker, and take the longest to get over. Women, predominantly are “middling” in the time it takes them to get back out there. Shrug.

Whilst I very much AM someone who believes that the best way over one man is under another? It took a solid year for my divorce to finalize, and I didn’t even look, much less act until it was through. Not everyone who needs skin in the game, real interaction between people, to even BEGIN to move on… is a cheater. I made a vow, so I stood by it. If we’d just been dating, and had broken up a year previously? I’d slept with 3 or 4 blokes that first week. Maybe decided to stick around with one. Her ex might be a cheater, IDFK, but it’s more likely a rebound relationship… just going by numbers. As the first thing most guys, and some girls, do after breaking up? Get laid.

Go do some sex & sexuality research. Like break out the textbooks, as they collate all the research & history. Because “literally no one” does not equal 51%+ of men & 49%- of women, which is still something close to Half The Human Race. Even 25% of the human race is a couple BILLION people.

 

[captain jigglypuff]

When I was dating I rarely spent even a single night, alone. Much less a week.

It is incredibly common to cry into Hagen Das.

It’s ALSO incredibly common to throw a leg over. More common amongst men, than women; but men don’t just hold the land speed record, but also the endurance trials carrying a torch for yeeeeeears. So men tend to both get over quicker, and take the longest to get over. Women, predominantly are “middling” in the time it takes them to get back out there. Shrug.

Whilst I very much AM someone who believes that the best way over one man is under another? It took a solid year for my divorce to finalize, and I didn’t even look, much less act until it was through. Not everyone who needs skin in the game, real interaction between people, to even BEGIN to move on… is a cheater. I made a vow, so I stood by it. If we’d just been dating, and had broken up a year previously? I’d slept with 3 or 4 blokes that first week. Maybe decided to stick around with one. Her ex might be a cheater, IDFK, but it’s more likely a rebound relationship… just going by numbers. As the first thing most guys, and some girls, do after breaking up? Get laid.

Go do some sex & sexuality research. Like break out the textbooks, as they collate all the research & history. Because “literally no one” does not equal 51%+ of men & 49%- of women, which is still something close to Half The Human Race. Even 25% of the human race is a couple BILLION people.

I didn’t know any of that. Cut me some slack here because I don’t know what happens during a relationship or a break up and what is normal. I’ve never even had a single relationship. I was stating my own observation and opinion of how something seemed odd to me.