Movie Trailers On Facebook

[NicG]

There's a particular movie coming out next year based on a particular book and I feel like a fair amount of people on here are going to have the same struggle as me over the next few months so, here goes...

I scrolled down my facebook news feed this evening to find that my cousin and other facebook friends had liked the new trailer for 50 Shades of Grey. I tensed up and struggled to breathe at the sight of the accursed thing.

The whole thing is a serious flashback trigger for me as my trauma revolves around a lot of that kind of stuff. But... everyone outside of the world of PTSD seems to love it?? Does anyone have any coping tips for how to deal with it being mentioned everywhere (online, in society, on TV, in the trailers for other films...) for the next like, 8 months? I don't want to have to go hide under a rock because of a stupid movie! Or is anyone else going to have similar issues to me?

 

[Underdog]

I think I can safely say you aren't the only one, and if not many people have the same reaction to this particular movie then others dealing the same topic(s) but portrayed differently would be the triggers. For me, I saw a trailer for a movie called PTSD and it sent me over the edge.

I'm still working through handling the triggers and emotions myself. My T constantly says to take the time to know how I feel in the moment and examine. I know this will probably sound harsh because I personally know how 8 months of repeated triggers would make me feel and fear, but perhaps it is also a good time to really learn from it and practice learning to recognize the trigger and learn how to calm down and stop the flashbacks, emotions and chains of thoughts.

 

[desiderata310]

You are not alone.
I don't watch TV, go to movies and generally am careful about what I view on line.

 

[digger]

Not particularly this film as I've managed to let the whole 50 shades of grey thing go over my head - I haven't read any of the books and only have the vaguest notion of what's in them. But certainly I can find things shared by friends on social media triggering.

Personally I go at with the view that's it's my responsibility to deal with triggers and I don't expect people to know that things might trigger me or to avoid talking about things around me, but if it's close friends that will share, who know something of your situation, then asking them to exclude you from seeing those links might be an option?

I am quite aware of how social media can affect me and avoid it at times when I'm not in a good place. I have also 'unfriended' people that I don't know so well, or hidden certain people from my timeline at times I might expect them to share about certain topics. Maybe a good time to look at who you choose to keep on your friends list?

It's difficult, but I guess I also view it as a kind of exposure therapy in some ways. At the end of the day, if I want to live in the world as normally as possible, I have to accept that that world will contain things that are triggering for me.

 

[littlelostchild]

I will also likely be triggered. I was actually in a movie (Delores Claiborne by Stephen King) and was so badly triggered in front of a group of friends it was awful. I didn't know some of the content and it was well before I understood my ptsd and effects of my childhood trauma. I stayed in the theatre, trying to just manage, and practically collapsed when we got out. It was very embarrassing with this unwitting group of neighbours.

I am glad you posted as an FYI, so I can be somewhat prepared if I come across ant advertising for this movie. Thanks.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

On the right hand side of the posts on facebook there is an option that says "I don't want to see this" and it blocks the post from your newsfeed. I don't know much about it beyond that.

 

[Springer80]

I don't think it's just solely people with ptsd. There was a certain amount of criticism about the book when it came out.
The internet is a minefield. The other day I did a search for Game of Thrones season four and a pop up appeared that was basically a woman being orally raped. And no, I do not use my computer to look at porn sites, so I have no idea why my security settings allowed it through.

The best part is they are releasing 50 shades on Valentines day apparently.

Today I am very angry because I read two articles in the UK press about a woman who killed herself after giving evidence at her child abuse trial and an article about a 17 year old whose abusive boyfriend killed her. I read them because I want to see how they are reported, the manner in which certain societal prejudices are subliminally transmitted in journalism. I know it will fire me up. Sometimes I can't help reading them. It makes ant to have nothing to do with the world sometimes.

 

[Friday]

I have no issue with 50 Shades, apart from having a general snobbery about fan fic...

But I haven't read or watched anything military in over a decade. And there's a whole helluva lot of that out and about in the world. Its constantly in the news, and I do touch base with the real world from time to time, but it also periodically sweeps everywhere in fiction (movies, tv, the "it" book, etc.).

Tips? Polite smile and "No thanks!"

There are a million other things going on in the world for me to pay attention to.
When it's what the people I'm with want to be talking about... I usually take that opportunity to go to the bathroom, or return emails, put on some music and do dishes, or take the dog for a walk.

 

[Dana1010]

I have a couple of basic problems with the 50 Shades phenomenon. First, the book is fetid rubbish, an embarrassment, flatly awful and I'm sure the film will be same. Something is truly afoul in the world when that idiot woman who wrote it is drowning in cash. Second, the idea of making sexual abuse (S&M is consensual sex abuse) sexy and fun is so problematic, it's hard to know where to start. I just know all the sociopathic liars, pick up artists, date rapists and worse are looking at this crap and gloating, saying, "See, women really do want to be abused."

What's next, Ted Bundy, The Love Story?

 

[Friday]

That's not really fair. There is a world of difference between consensual sex, regardless of the flavor, and rape. Just because someone is into kinky sex it doesn't make them a sociopathic liar and rapist.

A person can be triggered by anything. I have a friend who is triggered by kittens (and as such doesn't have email, because people are constantly sending kitten photos). A trigger in and of itself isn't evil by nature. Even if it's a common trigger.

 

[Friday]

ETA... Kink isn't my balliwick... But especially as I'm going offline for awhile I feel really compelled to add:

A lot of people with sexual abuse histories get into kink of various different kinds (BDSM just 4 of many) because of the clearly defined rules. The book was clearly way overblown, but in vanilla-sex-land people rarely talk about sex. Almost never beforehand, and even less during. Jumping off the proverbial cliff and hope it goes well. In kink, people discuss sex -in great detail- laying out boundaries, ideals, hard and soft limits beforehand... And then it's an evolving conversation to make sure no one's boundaries are being crossed, and no one is being asked to do anything that they are uncomfortable with, and if there is something they're uncomfortable with/ triggered by/ etc. there are safe words which compel a full stop. That's the opposite of abuse. That is a constant and unchanging "yes".

 

[Dana1010]

That's the opposite of abuse.

They only need to discuss all kinds of boundaries so that the abuse - er, pretend play abuse - doesn't go overboard with someone winding up at the hospital.