Thanks for all the helpful posts guys, I forgot to add that my doctor has already looked into my disassociations and I am currently waiting in a list for a therapist that specialises in that sort of thing along with BPD.
I understand where all of you come from and Thank you so much for reading and giving me some insight into what I need to be looking into :smile:
Helena, I am trying to not beat myself up too much. I managed to sit down with my partner and explain how I felt and he told me the same thing only hours ago. He'd rather me just forget it happened then beat myself up and get myself back into a similar situation because I've drank.
Pixie, My doctor is speaking with my current T to work out whether my medication needs to be changed or increased. My BPD was diagnosed after the doctor diagnosed me with C-PTSD, my T who works with just BPD people explains that my condition goes way back further then with I had PTSD and it is due to that and the impulsiveness which comes with it that has caused me to put myself into situations which can cause and have caused my C-PTSD.
Junebug, what ever people post I am willing to listen and take the advise given to me onboard :smile: I am aware this situation could happen again due to the impulsiveness part of my BPD. In the past before me and my partner got together I'd sleep about with any man that would show me affection. Not because I wanted to but because I never thought of any consequences & it isn't like I haven't tried, but unfortunately my BPD causes me not to think. I have also in the past gone and spent over a grand (£1000) of money I didn't have just because I wanted too. Due to this impulsive behaviour :mad:
tiredmomma, I have in the pas tried and switched meds and ended up worse then when I started, as I mentioned above my doc is looking into increasing my dosage rather then change me again.
I understand that this isn't a BPD forum and whilst no one here is able to give me any help with it I still needed to talk about it and how it is effecting me. I have searched day in day out for a similar friendly board for BPD and have still yet to find one.
Thanks for all your input guys - it really is truly all taken on board.
Hemmy xXx
